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The Taming of the Shrew

Induction, Scene 2

A bedchamber in the Lord's house.
 
[Enter aloft SLY, with Attendants; some with apparel, others with basin and ewer and appurtenances; and Lord]
 
SLY
For God's sake, a pot of small ale.
 
FIRST SERVANT
Will it please your lordship drink a cup of sack?
 
SECOND SERVANT
Will it please your honour taste of these conserves?
 
THIRD SERVANT
What raiment will your honour wear to-day?
 
SLY
I am Christophero Sly; call not me honour nor lordship: I nere drank sack in my life; and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef: nere ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometimes more feet than shoes, or such shoes as my toes look through the over-leather.
 
LORD
        Tx     T     .  T      ,      ,         ,     ->
      Heaven cease this^i|dle hu|mor in | your ho||nor.
       ,            ,      ,         ,        ,
      Oh | that a migh|ty man | of such | descent,
           ,        ,               ,   ,       ,
      Of such | posses|sions and / so high | esteem,
              ,        ,          ,     ,       ,
      Should be | infused | with so | foul a | spirit.
 
SLY
What, would you make me mad? Am not I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burtonheath, by birth a pedlar, by education a cardmaker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What! I am not bestraught: here's--
 
THIRD SERVANT
           ,        ,          ,           ,      ,
5     Oh this | it is | that makes | your la|dy mourn.
 
SECOND SERVANT
           ,        ,          ,           ,          ,
      Oh this | is it | that makes | your ser|vants droop.
 
LORD
              ,          ,          ,         ,            ,
      Hence comes | it that | your kin|dred shuns | your house,
          ,        ,                  ,     ,    ,
      As bea|ten hence | by your / strange lu|nacy.
         ,       ,        ,           ,         ,
      O no|ble lord,| bethink | thee of | thy birth,
             ,         ,          ,             ,      ,
10    Call home | thy an|cient thoughts | from ban|ishment
           ,        ,            ,       ,        ,
      And ban|ish hence | these ab|ject low|ly dreams.
        ,             ,         ,       ,         ,
      Look how | thy ser|vants do | attend | on thee,
        ,            ,       ,      ,         ,
      Each in | his of|fice rea|dy at | thy beck.
        ,               ,        ,      ,       ,
      Wilt thou | have mu|sic? Hark | Apol|lo plays,
            ,      ,       ,       ,          ,
15    And twen|ty ca|ged night|ingales | do sing:
           ,           ,             ,          ,       ,
      Or wilt | thou sleep?| We'll have | thee to | a couch
       ,             ,        ,          ,       ,
      Softer | and swee|ter than | the lust|ful bed
          ,          ,       ,        ,    ,
      On pur|pose trimmed | up for | Semi|ramis.
            ,           ,         ,        ,            ,
      Say thou | wilt walk;| we will | bestrew | the ground:
           ,           ,         ,        ,           ,
20    Or wilt | thou ride?| Thy hor|ses shall | be trapped,
             ,         ,       ,           ,          ,
      Their har|ness stud|ded all | with gold | and pearl.
             ,           ,         ,           ,            ,
      Dost thou | love hawk|ing? Thou | hast hawks | will soar
         ,         ,         ,         ,           ,
      Above | the mor|ning lark.| Or wilt | thou hunt?
             ,             ,         ,       ,        ,
      Thy hounds | shall make | the wel|kin an|swer them
            ,        ,   ,                   ,        ,
25    And fetch | shrill e/choes from | the hol|low earth.
 
FIRST SERVANT
        ,                ,           ,          ,         ,
      Say thou | wilt course;| thy grey|hounds are | as swift
            ,        ,          ,        ,         ,
      As breath|ed stags:| ay flee|ter than | the roe.
 
SECOND SERVANT
             ,          ,          ,          ,              ,
      Dost thou | love pic|tures? We | will fetch | thee straight
        ,       ,       ,      ,         ,
      Ado|nis pain|ted by | a run|ning brook,
           ,    ,     ,        ,       ,
30    And Cy|ther|ea all | in sed|ges hid,
              ,         ,         ,        ,           ,
      Which seem | to move | and wan|ton with | her breath,
      ,        2     ,       ,        ,           ,
      Even | as the wa|ving sed|ges play | with wind.
 
LORD
              ,         ,    ,        ,        ,
      We'll show | thee I|o as | she was | a maid,
           ,         ,        ,      ,          ,
      And how | she was | beguil|ed and | surprised,
           ,       ,       ,         ,          ,
35    As live|ly pain|ted as | the deed | was done.
 
THIRD SERVANT
           ,      ,          ,          ,       ,
      Or Daph|ne roa|ming through | a thor|ny wood,
        ,                ,          ,            ,            ,
      Scratching | her legs | that one | shall swear | she bleeds,
           ,          ,            ,      ,       ,
      And at | that sight | shall sad | Apol|lo weep,
           ,      ,         ,           ,           ,
      So work|manly | the blood | and tears | are drawn.
 
LORD
            ,        ,         ,        ,        ,
40    Thou art | a lord,| and no|thing but | a lord:
             ,       ,     ,           ,     ,
      Thou hast | a la|dy far | more beau|tiful
           ,     ,      ,         ,       ,
      Than a|ny wo|man in | this wa|ning age.
 
FIRST SERVANT
            ,          ,           ,           ,          ,
      And till | the tears | that she | hath shed | for thee
            ,   2      ,          ,          ,       ,
      Like en|vious floods | ore-run | her love|ly face,
           ,          ,        ,        ,         ,
45    She was | the fair|est crea|ture in | the world;
           ,         ,      ,    ,        ,
      And yet | she is | infer|ior | to none.
 
SLY
       ,  2      ,           ,        ,       ,
      Am I a | lord, and | have I | such a | lady?
          ,       ,          ,         ,            ,
      Or do | I dream?| Or have | I dreamed | till now?
         ,         ,        ,        ,        ,
      I do | not sleep:| I see,| I hear,| I speak;
          ,            ,                 ,    ,     ,
50    I smell | sweet sa|vors and I // feel soft things:
         ,        ,       ,       ,        ,
      Upon | my life | I am | a lord | indeed
           ,       ,       ,          ,   2    ,
      And not | a tin|ker nor | Christo|phero Sly.
        ,                ,     ,       ,         ,
      Well, bring | our la|dy hi|ther to | our sight;
            ,       ,       ,      2      ,        ,
      And once | again | a pot | of the smal|lest ale.
 
SECOND SERVANT
          2      ,            ,      ,         ,           ,
55    Will it please | your migh|tiness | to wash | your hands:
          ,        ,        ,          ,          ,
      Oh how | we joy | to see | your wit | restored,
                  ,    ,          ,          ,         ,
      Oh that / once more | you knew | but what | you are.
             ,         ,           ,          ,       ,
      These fif|teen years | you have | been in | a dream;
           ,          ,          ,         ,         ,
      Or when | you waked,| so waked | as if | you slept.
 
SLY
             ,         ,       2    ,        ,      ,
60    These fif|teen years,| by my fay,| a good|ly nap.
           ,       ,       ,         ,           ,
      But did | I ne|ver speak | of all | that time.
 
FIRST SERVANT
          ,         ,         ,    ,       ,
      Oh yes | my lord,| but ve|ry i|dle words:
             ,          ,      ,    2         ,        ,
      For though | you lay | here in this | goodly | chamber,
            ,          ,      2       ,      ,         ,
      Yet would | you say,| ye were beat|en out | of door;
            ,      ,         ,        ,         ,
65    And rail | upon | the hos|tess of | the house;
           ,          ,          ,         ,         ,
      And say | you would | present | her at | the leet,
          ,                     ,     ,                ,      ,
      Because | she brought / stone jugs | and no / sealed quarts:
            ,        2        ,     ,         ,  2      ,
      Sometimes | you would call | out for | Cicely | Hacket.
 
SLY
       ,          ,          ,             ,
      Aye, the | woman's | maid of | the house.  (pickup)
 
THIRD SERVANT
           ,          ,         ,          ,          ,
70    Why sir | you know | no house | nor no | such maid,
           ,         ,        ,           ,        ,
      Nor no | such men | as you | have reck|oned up,
          ,        ,                ,    ,          ,
      As Ste|phen Sly | and did / John Naps | of Greece
           ,       ,          ,      ,       ,
      And Pe|ter Turph | and Hen|ry Pim|pernell
            ,       ,           ,          ,         ,
      And twen|ty more | such names | and men | as these
             ,       ,         ,       ,      ,
75    Which ne|ver were | nor no | man e|ver saw.
 
SLY
            ,          ,         2     ,       ,
      Now Lord | be thanked | for my good | amends!
 
ALL
        ,
      Amen.  (picked up)
 
SLY
I thank thee: thou shalt not lose by it.
 
[Enter the Page as a lady, with attendants]
 
PAGE
How fares my noble lord?
 
SLY
Marry I fare well, for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife?
 
PAGE
Here noble lord: what is thy will with her?
 
SLY
Are you my wife and will not call me husband? My men should call me lord, I am your goodman.
 
PAGE
          ,        ,         ,         ,         ,       ->
      My hus|band and | my lord,| my lord | and hus||band
      ,     2       ,        ,      ,     ,
      I | am your wife | in all | obe|dience.
 
SLY
            x       T     T    T    T   T   T
      I know it | well, what must | I call her?
 
LORD
       ,
      Madam.
 
SLY
             ,       ,           ,     ,
80          Alice | madam,| or Joan | madam?
 
LORD
       ,           ,         ,         ,           ,     ->
      Madam,| and no|thing else:| so lords | call la|dies.
 
SLY
       ,       ,          ,         ,           ,
      Ma|dam wife,| they say | that I | have dreamed
            ,        ,          ,         ,         ,
      And slept | above | some fif|teen year | or more.
 
PAGE
       ,               ,            ,      ,     ,
      Aye, and | the time | seems thir|ty un|to me,
        2    ,           ,      ,          ,          ,
85    Being all | this time | aban|doned from | your bed.
 
SLY
             ,     ,           ,             ,       ,
      'Tis much.| Servants,| leave me | and her | alone.
       ,          ,          ,          ,        ,
      Madam | undress | you and | come now | to bed.
 
PAGE
              ,       ,     ,           ,         ,
      Thrice no|ble lord,| let me | entreat | of you
          ,       ,    ,            ,         ,
      To pa|rdon me | yet for | a night | or two,
          ,        ,      ,         ,        ,
90    Or if | not so,| until | the sun | be set:
            ,        ,         ,        ,         ,
      For your | physi|cians have | express|ly charged,
           x       2   ,          ,       ,    ,
      In peril | to incur | your for|mer mal|ady,
           ,           ,     ,            ,          ,
      That I | should yet | absent | me from | your bed:
          ,          ,         ,          ,       ,
      I hope | this rea|son stands | for my | excuse.
 
SLY
Aye, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long. But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again: I will therefore tarry in despite of the flesh and the blood.
 
[Enter a Messenger]
 
MESSENGER
            ,          x       ,         ,       ,
95    Your hon|or's players,| heating | your a|mendment,
            ,         ,        ,        ,    ,
      Are come | to play | a plea|sant com|edy;
           ,         ,         ,        ,      ,
      For so | your doc|tors hold | it ve|ry meet,
         2    ,          ,         ,          ,            ,
      Seeing too | much sad|ness hath | congealed | your blood,
           ,     ,      ,         ,          ,      ->
      And mel|ancho|ly is | the nurse | of fren||zy:
        ,        2        ,           ,          ,        ,
100   There|fore* they thought | it good | you hear | a play
            ,            ,         ,          ,      ,
      And frame | your mind | to mirth | and mer|riment,
              ,        ,         ,           ,          ,
      Which bars | a thou|sand harms | and length|ens life.
 
SLY
Marry, I will, let them play it. Is not a comondy a Christmas gambold or a tumbling-trick?
 
PAGE
No, my good lord; it is more pleasing stuff.
 
SLY
What, household stuff?
 
PAGE
It is a kind of history.
 
SLY
Well, we'll see it. Come, madam wife, sit by my side and let the world slip: we shall nere be younger.
 
[Flourish]

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