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A field near Windsor.
[Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY]
DOCTOR CAIUS
Jack Rugby.
RUGBY
Sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat is de clock, Jack.
RUGBY
'Tis past the hour (sir) that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come: he has pray his Pible well,
dat he is no come: by gar (Jack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come.
RUGBY
He is wise sir: he knew your worship would kill him if he came.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill him: Take your rapier, (Jack)
I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
RUGBY
Alas sir, I cannot fence.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Villany, take your rapier.
RUGBY
Forbear: here's company.
[Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE]
HOST
Bless thee, bully doctor.
SHALLOW
Save you Master Doctor Caius.
PAGE
Now good master doctor.
SLENDER
Give you good morrow, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
HOST
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse, to see thee here,
to see thee there, to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
distance, thy montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco?
ha bully? What says my Aesculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha? is he
dead bully stale? is he dead?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld: he is not show his face.
HOST
Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal: Hector of Greece (my boy)
DOCTOR CAIUS
I pray you bear vitness, that me have stay, six or seven, two tree hours for
him, and he is no come.
SHALLOW
He is the wiser man (master doctor) he is a curer of souls, and you a curer
of bodies: if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions:
Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE
Master Shallow; you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of
peace.
SHALLOW
Bodykins Master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace; if I see a
sword out, my finger itches to make one: Though we are justices, and doctors,
and churchmen (Master Page) we have some salt of our youth in us, we are the
sons of women (Master Page).
PAGE
'Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
It will be found so, (Master Page). Master Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch
you home: I am sworn of the peace: you have showed yourself a wise
physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman: You
must go with me, master doctor.
HOST
Pardon, guest-justice; A word Mounseur Mockwater.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Mock-vater? vat is dat?
HOST
Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valor (bully).
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, den I have as mush mock-vater as de Englishman: Scurvy jack-dog
priest: by gar, me vill cut his ears.
HOST
He will clapper-claw thee tightly (bully).
DOCTOR CAIUS
Clapper-de-claw? vat is dat?
HOST
That is, he will make thee amends.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me, for by gar, me vill have
it.
HOST
And I will provoke him to it, or let him wag.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Me tank you for dat.
HOST
And moreover, (bully) but first, master guest, and Master Page, and eke
Cavaleiro Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
HOST
He is there, see what humor he is in: and I will bring the doctor about by
the fields: Will it do well?
SHALLOW
We will do it.
PAGE SHALLOW SLENDER
Adieu, good master doctor.
[Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER]
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.
HOST
Let him die: sheathe thy impatience: throw cold water on thy choler: go
about the fields with me through Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistress
Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting: and thou shalt woo her: Cried
game, said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar I love you: and I shall procure-a you
de good guest: de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
HOST
For the which, I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page: Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, 'tis good: vell said.
HOST
Let us wag then.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
[Exeunt]