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Much Ado About Nothing

Act III, Scene 5

Another room in LEONATO'S house.
 
[Enter LEONATO, with DOGBERRY and VERGES]
 
LEONATO
What would you with me, honest neighbor?
 
DOGBERRY
Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you that decerns you nearly.
 
LEONATO
Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.
 
DOGBERRY
Marry, this it is, sir.
 
VERGES
Yes, in truth it is, sir.
 
LEONATO
What is it, my good friends?
 
DOGBERRY
Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.
 
VERGES
Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man living that is an old man and no honester than I.
 
DOGBERRY
Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbor Verges.
 
LEONATO
Neighbors, you are tedious.
 
DOGBERRY
It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor duke's officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find it in my heart to bestow it all of your worship.
 
LEONATO
All thy tediousness on me, ah?
 
DOGBERRY
Yea, and 'twere a thousand pound more than 'tis; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship as of any man in the city; and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it.
 
VERGES
And so am I.
 
LEONATO
I would fain know what you have to say.
 
VERGES
Marry, sir, our watch tonight, excepting your worship's presence, ha' tane a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina.
 
DOGBERRY
A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they say, when the age is in, the wit is out: God help us. it is a world to see. Well said, in faith, neighbor Verges: well, God's a good man; an two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, in faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is to be worshipped; all men are not alike; alas, good neighbor.
 
LEONATO
Indeed, neighbor, he comes too short of you.
 
DOGBERRY
Gifts that God gives.
 
LEONATO
I must leave you.
 
DOGBERRY
One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship.
 
LEONATO
Take their examination yourself and bring it me: I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you.
 
DOGBERRY
It shall be suffigance.
 
LEONATO
Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well.
 
MESSENGER
My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband.
 
LEONATO
I'll wait upon them: I am ready.
 
[Exeunt LEONATO and Messenger]
 
DOGBERRY
Go, good partner, go, get you to Francis Seacole; bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the jail: we are now to examination these men.
 
VERGES
And we must do it wisely.
 
DOGBERRY
We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here's that shall drive some of them to a non-come: only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication and meet me at the jail.
 
[Exeunt]

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