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Much Ado About Nothing

Act I, Scene 3

The same.
[Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE]
 
CONRADE
What the good-year, my lord. why are you thus out of measure sad?
 
DON JOHN
There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the sadness is without limit.
 
CONRADE
You should hear reason.
 
DON JOHN
And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it?
 
CONRADE
If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.
 
DON JOHN
I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayest thou art, born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause and smile at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and claw no man in his humor.
 
CONRADE
Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath tane you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest.
 
DON JOHN
I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and seek not to alter me.
 
CONRADE
Can you make no use of your discontent?
 
DON JOHN
I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here? What news, Borachio?
 
BORACHIO
I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato: and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.
 
DON JOHN
Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?
 
BORACHIO
Marry, it is your brother's right hand.
 
DON JOHN
Who? the most exquisite Claudio?
 
BORACHIO
Even he.
 
DON JOHN
A proper squire. And who, and who? which way looks he?
 
BORACHIO
Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.
 
DON JOHN
A very forward March-chick. How came you to this?
 
BORACHIO
Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras; and there heard it agreed upon that the prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.
 
DON JOHN
Come, come, let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?
 
CONRADE
To the death, my lord.
 
DON JOHN
Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of my mind. Shall we go prove what's to be done?
 
BORACHIO
We'll wait upon your lordship.
 
[Exeunt]

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