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As You Like It

Act V, Scene 1

The forest.
 
[Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY]
 
TOUCHSTONE
We shall find a time Audrey, patience gentle Audrey.
 
AUDREY
Faith the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman's saying.
 
TOUCHSTONE
A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.
 
AUDREY
Aye, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest in me in the world: here comes the man you mean.
 
TOUCHSTONE
It is meat and drink to me to see a clown, by my troth, we that have good wits, have much to answer for: we shall be flouting: we cannot hold.
 
WILLIAM
Good even Audrey.
 
AUDREY
God ye good even William.
 
WILLIAM
And good even to you sir.
 
TOUCHSTONE
Good even gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head: nay prithee be covered. How old are you friend?
 
WILLIAM
Five and twenty sir.
 
TOUCHSTONE
A ripe age: Is thy name William?
 
WILLIAM
William, sir.
 
TOUCHSTONE
A fair name. Wast born in the forest here?
 
WILLIAM
Aye sir, I thank God.
 
TOUCHSTONE
Thank God: a good answer: Art rich?
 
WILLIAM
Faith sir, so, so.
 
TOUCHSTONE
So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not, it is but so, so:
Art thou wise?
 
WILLIAM
Aye sir, I have a pretty wit.
 
TOUCHSTONE
Why, thou sayst well. I do now remember a saying: The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat, and lips to open. You do love this maid?
 
WILLIAM
I do sir.
 
TOUCHSTONE
Give me your hand: Art thou learned?
 
WILLIAM
No sir.
 
TOUCHSTONE
Then learn this of me, to have, is to have. For it is a figure in rhetoric, that drink being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one, doth empty the other. For all your writers do consent, that ipse is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
 
WILLIAM
Which he sir?
 
TOUCHSTONE
He sir, that must marry this woman: Therefore you clown, abandon which is in the vulgar, leave the society, which in the boorish, is company, of this female: which in the common, is woman: which together, is, abandon the society of this female, or clown thou perishest: or to thy better understanding, diest; or (to wit) I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel: I will bandy with thee in faction, I will orerun thee with policy: I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways, therefore tremble and depart.
 
AUDREY
Do good William.
 
WILLIAM
God rest you merry sir.
 
[Exit. Enter CORIN]
 
CORIN
Our master and mistress seeks you: come away, away.
 
TOUCHSTONE
Trip Audrey, trip Audrey, I attend, I attend.
 
[Exeunt]

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