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The Grecian camp. Before Achilles' tent.
[Enter THERSITES, solus]
THERSITES
How now Thersites? What lost in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the
elephant Ajax carry it thus? He beats me, and I rail at him: O worthy
satisfaction, would it were otherwise: that I could beat him, whilst he
railed at me: 'Sfoot, I'll learn to conjure and raise devils, but I'll see
some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then there's Achilles, a rare
enginer, if Troy be not taken till these two undermine it, the walls will
stand till they fall of themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Olympus,
forget that thou art Jove the king of gods: and Mercury, lose all the
serpentine craft of thy caduceus, if thou take not that little little less
than little wit from them that they have, which short-armed ignorance itself
knows, is so abundant scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly
from a spider, without drawing their massy irons and cutting the web: after
this, the vengeance on the whole camp, or rather the bone-ache, for that
methinks is the curse dependent on those that war for a placket. I have said
my prayers and devil, envy, say Amen: What ho? My Lord Achilles?
[Enter PATROCLUS]
PATROCLUS
Who's there? Thersites. Good Thersites come in and rail.
THERSITES
If I could have remembered a gilt counterfeit, thou wouldst not have slipped
out of my contemplation, but it is no matter, thyself upon thyself. The
common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance be thine in great revenue;
heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near thee. Let thy
blood be thy direction till thy death, then if she that lays thee out says
thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon it she never shrouded
any but lazars, Amen. Where's Achilles?
PATROCLUS
What art thou devout? Wast thou in prayer?
THERSITES
Aye, the heavens hear me.
ACHILLES
Who's there?
PATROCLUS
Thersites, my lord.
ACHILLES
Where, where, art thou come? Why my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not
served thyself in to my table, so many meals? Come, what's Agamemnon?
THERSITES
Thy commander Achilles, then tell me Patroclus, what's Achilles?
PATROCLUS
Thy lord Thersites: then tell me I pray thee, what's thyself?
THERSITES
Thy knower Patroclus: then tell me Patroclus, what art thou?
PATROCLUS
Thou mayst tell that knowest.
ACHILLES
O tell, tell.
THERSITES
I'll decline the whole question: Agamemnon commands Achilles, Achilles is my
lord, I am Patroclus' knower, and Patroclus is a fool.
PATROCLUS
You rascal.
THERSITES
Peace fool, I have not done.
ACHILLES
He is a privileged man, proceed Thersites.
THERSITES
Agamemnon is a fool, Achilles is a fool, Thersites is a fool, and as
aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool.
ACHILLES
Derive this? Come?
THERSITES
Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles, Achilles is a fool to be
commanded of Agamemnon, Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool: and
Patroclus is a fool positive.
PATROCLUS
Why am I a fool?
THERSITES
Make that demand in the creator, it suffices me thou art. Look you, who
comes here?
ACHILLES
Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody: Come in with me Thersites.
[Exit]
THERSITES
Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery: all the argument is
a cuckold and a whore, a good quarrel to draw emulations, factions, and
bleed to death upon: Now the dry serpigo on the subject, and war and lechery
confound all.
[Exit. Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, NESTOR, DIOMEDES, and AJAX]
AGAMEMNON
Where is Achilles?
PATROCLUS
, ,
, ,
,
Within | his tent,| but ill | disposed | my lord.
AGAMEMNON
,
, ,
, ,
Let it | be known | to him | that we | are here:
,
, ,
, ,
He sent | our mes|sengers,| and we | lay* by
, ,
, ,
,
Our ap|pertain|ments, vis|iting | of him:
, 2
T T T ,
,
Let him be | told of, so | perchance | he think
, ,
, , ,
We dare | not move | the ques|tion of | our
place,
, ,
,
Or know | not what | we are.
PATROCLUS
2 ,
, 2
I shall so | say to him.
[Exit]
ULYSSES
, ,
, 2 ,
,
We saw | him at | the op|ening of | his tent,
, ,
He is / not sick. (cut off)
AJAX
Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart; you may call it melancholy if will
favor the man, but by my head, 'tis pride; but why, why, let him show us the
cause? A word my lord.
[Takes AGAMEMNON aside]
NESTOR
What moves Ajax thus to bay at him?
ULYSSES
Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him.
NESTOR
Who, Thersites?
ULYSSES
He.
NESTOR
Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument.
ULYSSES
No, you see he is his argument that has his argument Achilles.
NESTOR
All the better, their fraction is more our wish than their faction; but it
was a strong composure a fool could disunite.
ULYSSES
The amity that wisdom knits, not folly may easily untie. Here comes
Patroclus.
NESTOR
No Achilles with him?
ULYSSES
The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy: his legs are legs for
necessity, not for flight.
PATROCLUS
,
, ,
2 , ,
Achil|les bids | me say | he is much | sorry:
, 2
, , ,
,
If an|ything more | than your / sport and |
pleasure,
, ,
, ,
,
Did move | your great|ness, and | this nob|le
state,
,
x , 2
, ,
To call | upon him;| he hopes | it is no | other,
, ,
, ,
,
But for | your health,| and your | diges|tion
sake;
, ,
,
And aft|er-din|ner's breath.
AGAMEMNON
, 2 ,
Hear you Pa|troclus:
2 ,
, , ,
,
We are too | well ac|quainted | with these |
answers:
, ,
, , ,
But his | eva|sion winged | thus swift | with
scorn,
T T T ,
, ,
Cannot out|fly our | appre|hensions.
, ,
, , x
Much^at|tribute | he hath,| and much | the
reason,
, 2
x , ,
,
Why we a|scribe it to / him, yet | all his |
virtues,
, 2 ,
, , ,
Not vir|tuously | on his / own part | beheld,
,
, ,
, ,
Do in | our eyes,| begin | to lose | their gloss:
,
T T T
3 3 , ,
Yea, and | like fair fruit | in an unwhole|some
dish,
,
, ,
, x
Are like | to rot | untas|ted: go | and tell him,
, ,
2 , ,
,
We come | to speak | with him; and | you shall |
not sin,
,
, ,
, ,
If you | do say,| we think | him ov|er-proud,
, ,
, , ,
,
And und|er-hon|est; in | self-as|sumption |
greater
,
, , ,
, 2 2
,
Than in | the note | of judg|ment: and | worthier
| than himself (hex with prev)
,
, , ,
,
Here* tends | the sav|age strange|ness he / puts
on,
, ,
, ,
,
Disguise | the ho|ly strength | of their |
command:
, ,
, ,
,
And und|erwrite | in an | observ|ing kind
, ,
, ,
,
His hum|orous | predom|inance,| yea^watch
,
, , ,
,
His pet|tish lines,| his ebbs,| his flows,| as if
, 2
, ,
, ,
The pas|sage and whole | carriage | of this |
action
,
, ,
, ,
Rode on | his tide.| Go tell | him this,| and
add,
, ,
, ,
,
That if | he ov|erhold | his price | so much,
,
2 , ,
, ,
We'll none | of him; but | let him,| like an |
engine
,
, , ,
,
Not por|table,| lie^und|er this | report.
,
, ,
, 2 ,
Bring^ac|tion hith|er, this | cannot | go to war:
, ,
, ,
,
A stir|ring dwarf,| we do | allow|ance give,
,
, ,
, ,
Before | a sleep|ing gi|ant: tell | him so.
PATROCLUS
, , ,
, ,
I shall,| and bring | his ans|wer pres|ently.
[Exit]
AGAMEMNON
, ,
, ,
,
In sec|ond voice | we'll not | be sat|isfied;
,
, 2 , ,
, 2
We come | to speak | with him, U|lysses | enter
you.
[Exit ULYSSES]
AJAX
What is he more than another?
AGAMEMNON
No more than what he thinks he is.
AJAX
Is he so much, do you not think, he thinks himself a better man than I am?
AGAMEMNON
No question.
AJAX
Will you subscribe his thought, and say he is?
AGAMEMNON
No, noble Ajax, you are as strong, as valiant, as wise, no less noble, much
more gentle, and altogether more tractable.
AJAX
Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what pride is.
AGAMEMNON
Your mind is the clearer Ajax, and your virtues the fairer; he that is
proud, eats up himself; pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own
chronicle, and whatever praises itself but in the deed, devours the deed in
the praise.
AJAX
I do hate a proud man, as I hate the engendering of toads.
NESTOR
Yet he loves himself: is it not strange?
[Enter ULYSSES]
ULYSSES
, ,
, 2 ,
,
Achil|les will | not to the | field to|morrow.
AGAMEMNON
,
,
What's his | excuse?
ULYSSES
, ,
,
He doth | rely | on none,
,
, , ,
,
But car|ries on | the stream | of his | dispose,
,
, , ,
x
Without | observ|ance or | respect | of any,
, ,
, ,
, ->
In will | pecul|iar, and | in self-|admis||sion.
AGAMEMNON
, 2
, , ,
,
Why,| will he not | upon | our fair | request,
,
, , ,
, 2
Untent | his pers|on, and | share the | air with
us?
ULYSSES
,
, 2
, , ,
Things^small | as noth|ing, for re/quest's sake |
only
<-2 ,
, ,
, 2 ,
He || makes im|portant;| possessed | he is
with | greatness,
,
, ,
, ,
And speaks | not to | himself,| but with | a
pride
,
, , ,
,
That quar|rels at / self-breath.| Ima|gined worth
,
, x ,
,
Holds in | his blood | such swollen | and hot |
discourse,
, ,
, ,
,
That 'twixt | his men|tal and | his ac|tive
parts,
, 2
, , ,
,
Kingdomed A|chilles | in com|motion | rages,
,
, ,
, ,
And bat|ters down | himself;| what should | I
say?
2 ,
, ,
2 , , 2
He is so | plaguey | proud, that the |
death-tok/ens of it,
, ,
2
Cry no | recove|ry.
AGAMEMNON
, , ,
Let A|jax go / to him,
, ,
, ,
,
Dear* lord,| go you | and greet | him in | his
tent;
,
, , ,
,
'Tis said | he holds | you well,| and will | be
led
,
, ,
, ,
At your | request | a lit|tle from | himself.
ULYSSES
, ,
, ,
,
O Ag|amem|non, let | it not | be so.
,
, , ,
,
We'll con|secrate | the steps | that A|jax^makes,
,
, 2 ,
, ,
When they | go from A|chilles,| shall the / proud
lord,
, ,
, , ,
That bastes | his ar|rogance | with his / own
seam,
, ,
, ,
,
And nev|er suf|fers mat|ter of | the world,
, ,
T T . T
,
Enter | his thoughts:| save such as do | revolve
, ,
, , 2 ,
And ru|minate | himself.| Shall he be |
worshipped,
, ,
, ,
,
Of that | we hold | an id|ol, more | than he?
,
, ,
, 2 ,
No, this | thrice^worth|y and / right val|iant
lord,
, ,
, , ,
Must not | so stale | his palm,| nobly |
acquired,
, ,
, ,
x
Nor by | my will | assub|jugate | his merit,
, x 2
, 2 , ,
As am|ply titled | as Achil|les is: by going to
Achilles, ????
, 2 ,
, ,
,
That were | to enlard | his fat | alrea|dy,
pride,
, T
T . T ,
,
And add | more coals to Can|cer, when | he burns
, ,
, , ,
With ent|ertai|ning great | Hype|rion.
T T T
2 , ,
,
This lord go | to him? Jup|iter | forbid,
,
, x ,
,
And say | in thund|er, Achil|les go | to him.
NESTOR
, ,
, , ,
O this | is well,| he rubs | the vein | of him.
DIOMEDES
, ,
, ,
,
And how | his sil|ence drinks | up this |
applause.
AJAX
If I go to him, with my armed fist, I'll pash him ore the face.
AGAMEMNON
O no, you shall not go.
AJAX
And he be proud with me, I'll pheeze his pride: Let me go to him.
ULYSSES
Not for the worth that hangs upon our quarrel.
AJAX
A paltry insolent fellow.
NESTOR
How he describes himself.
AJAX
Can he not be sociable?
ULYSSES
The raven chides blackness.
AJAX
I'll let his humors blood.
AGAMEMNON
He will be the physician that should be the patient.
AJAX
And all men were of my mind.
ULYSSES
Wit would be out of fashion.
AJAX
He should not bear it so, he should eat swords first: shall pride carry it?
NESTOR
And 'twould, you'd carry half.
ULYSSES
He would have ten shares.
AJAX
I will knead him, I'll make him supple, he's not yet through warm.
NESTOR
Force him with praises, pour in, pour in: his ambition is dry.
ULYSSES
, ,
, , ,
My lord | you feed | too much | on this |
dislike.
NESTOR
, , 2
, T T T
Our nob|le gen|eral, do | not do so.
DIOMEDES
, ,
, ,
, ->
You must | prepare | to fight | without |
Achil||les.
ULYSSES
, ,
, 2
, ,
Why,| 'tis this | naming | of him doth | him
harm.
,
, , ,
,
Here is | a man,| but 'tis | before | his face,
, ,
I will | be sil|ent.
NESTOR
, ,
,
Where|fore should | you so?
, , ,
2 , ,
He is / not em|ulous,| as Achil|les is.
ULYSSES
T . T
T , ,
,
Know the whole world,| he is | as val|iant.
AJAX
A whoreson dog, that shall pelter thus with us, would he were a Troyan.
NESTOR
What a vice were it in Ajax now--
ULYSSES
If he were proud.
DIOMEDES
Or covetous of praise.
ULYSSES
Aye, or surly borne.
DIOMEDES
Or strange, or self-affected.
ULYSSES
,
Tx T T 2
, ,
->
Thank the | heavens lord thou | art of sweet |
compo||sure;
,
2 , ,
, ,
Praise | him that got | thee, she | that gave |
thee suck:
, 2
, ,
, ,
Famed be thy | tutor,| and thy | parts of |
nature
T T
. T T TT ,
Thrice famed, beyond | all eru|dition;
, ,
, ,
,
But he | that di|sciplined | thy arms | to fight,
,
, , ,
,
Let Mars | divide | eter|nity | in twain,
, ,
, ,
And give | him half,| and for | thy vig|or,
<- , ,
, , ,
,
Bull-||bearing | Milo:| his ad|dition | yield
<- , 2 , ,
2 , ,
To || sinewy | Ajax:/ I will not* | praise thy
| wisdom,
T T .
T , ,
,
Which like a bourn,| a pale,| a shore | confines
, 2
, , ,
,
Thy spa|cious and di|lated | parts;
here's^|Nestor
, ,
, , ,
Instruc|ted by | the an|tiqua|ry times:
,
, ,
, ,
He must,| he is,| he can|not but | be wise.
,
, ,
, ,
But pard|on fath|er Nes|tor, were | your days
,
, , 2 ,
,
As green | as A|jax' and your | brain so |
tempered,
, ,
, , ,
You should | not have | the em|inence | of him,
, ,
,
But be | as A|jax.
AJAX
2 ,
,
Shall I | call you | father?
NESTOR
,
,
Aye my | good* son.
DIOMEDES
, 2
, ,
Be ruled | by him Lord^/Ajax.
ULYSSES
, 2
, 2 ,
, ,
There is no | tarrying | here, the | hart
A|chilles
T Tx
T , ,
,
Keeps thicket: please | it our / great gen|eral,
,
, , ,
,
To call | togeth|er all | his state | of war,
T T
T , ,
,
Fresh kings are | come to | Troy: to|morrow
, ,
, . Tx T
T
We must | with all | our main | of power stand
fast:
,
, , ,
,
And here's | a lord,| come* knights | from east |
to west,
, x
, ,
,
And cull | their flower,|*Ajax | shall cope | the
best.
AGAMEMNON
, ,
, , ,
oo
Go we | to coun|cil, let | Achil|les sleep;|
T T T
, ,
T T T
Light boats sail | swift, though | greater |
hulks draw deep. (hex with prev)
[Exeunt]