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The palace yard.
[Noise and tumult within. Enter Porter and his Man]
PORTER
You'll leave your noise anon ye rascals: do you take the court for
Paris-garden? ye rude slaves, leave your gaping:
[WITHIN]
Good master porter, I
belong to the larder.
PORTER
Belong to the gallows, and be hanged ye rogue: is this a place to roar in?
Fetch me a dozen crab-tree staves, and strong ones; these are but switches
to 'em: I'll scratch your heads; you must be seeing christenings? do you
look for ale, and cakes here, you rude rascals?
MAN
, 2
, 2 , ,
,
Pray sir be | patient;| 'tis as much |
impos|sible,
,
, ,
, , 2->
Unless | we sweep |'em from | the door | with
can||nons,
, ,
, , ,
To scat|ter 'em,/ as 'tis | to make |'em sleep
,
, , ,
,
On May-|day* morn|ing, which | will nev|er be:
,
2 , ,
, ,
We may | as well push | against | Powle's as |
stir em.
PORTER
T T T ,
, oo
How got they | in, and | be hanged?|
MAN
, ,
, ,
,
Alas | I know | not, how*| gets the | tide in?
, . T
T T ,
,
As much | as one sound cud|gel of / four foot,
, 2
, , , ,
(You see the | poor re|mainder)| could
dis|tribute, ??
,
,
I made | no spare | sir.
PORTER
, , ,
You | did noth|ing sir.
MAN
, , ,
, , ,
I am not Samson, nor Sir Guy, nor Colbrand,
????
, , , , ,
,
To mow 'em down before me: but if I spared any
????
, ,
, 2 , ,
That had | a head | to hit,| either young | or
old,
, ,
, , ,
He or | she, cuck/old or | cuckold-|maker:
,
, ,
, ,
Let me | nere* hope | to see | a chine | again,
, 2
, , T
T T
And that | I would not | for a cow,| God save
her.
WITHIN
Do you hear, master porter?
PORTER
I shall be with you presently, good master puppy,
Keep the door close
sirrah.
MAN
What would you have me do?
PORTER
What should you do,
But knock 'em down by the dozens? Is this Moorfields to
muster in? or have we some strange Indian with the great tool, come to court,
the women so besiege us? Bless me, what a fry of fornication is at door? On
my Christian conscience this one christening will beget a thousand, here
will be father, godfather, and all together.
MAN
The spoons will be the bigger sir: There is a fellow somewhat near the
door, he should be a brazier by his face, for of my conscience twenty of
the dog-days now reign in his nose; all that stand about him are under the
line, they need no other penance: that fire-drake did I hit three times on
the head, and three times was his nose discharged against me; he stands
there like a mortar-piece to blow us. There was a haberdasher's wife of
small wit, near him, that railed upon me, till her pinked porringer fell off
her head, for kindling such a combustion in the state. I missed the meteor
once, and hit that woman, who cried out Clubs, when I might see from far,
some forty truncheoners draw to her succor, which were the hope of the
Strand where she was quartered; They fell on, I made good my place; at
length they came to the broom-staff to me, I defied 'em still, when suddenly
a file of boys behind 'em, loose shot, delivered such a shower of pebbles,
that I was fain to draw mine honor in, and let 'em win the work, the devil
was amongst 'em I think surely.
PORTER
These are the youths that thunder at a playhouse, and fight for bitten
apples, that no audience but the tribulation of Tower Hill, or the limbs of
Limehouse, their dear brothers are able to endure. I have some of 'em in
Limbo Patrum, and there they are like to dance these three days; besides the
running banquet of two beadles that is to come.
[Enter Chamberlain]
CHAMBERLAIN
, ,
2 , ,
,
Mercy | of me:| what a mult|itude | are here?
,
, ,
, 2 ,
They grow | still too;/ from all*| parts they are
| coming,
, ,
, , , 2
,
As if | we kept | a fair | here? Where are these^|porters?
,
, , , T T Tx
These la|zy knaves?| Ye have | made a | fine hand
fellows? (hex with prev)
2 ,
, , T T
T
There's^a trim | rabble | let^in:| are all these
??
, ,
2 , ,
,
Your faith|ful friends | of the sub|urbs? We |
shall have
T T .
T ,
, 2 ,
Great store of room | no doubt,| left for
the | ladies,
2 , ,
2 , 2
When they pass | back from the | christening?
PORTER
2 ,
x
And it please | your honor,
,
, , ,
2 ,
We are | but men;| and what | so ma|ny may* do,
T Tx T
, , ,
Not being torn | to pie|ces, we | have done:
,
, ,
An ar|my can|not rule |'em.
CHAMBERLAIN
, ,
As | I live,
, ,
x , ,
If the / king blame | me for it,| I'll lay | ye
all
2 ,
, ,
, ,
By the heels,| and sud|denly:| and on | your
heads
T T
T 2 ,
2 , ,
Clap round fines | for neglect:| ye are la|zy
knaves,
, ,
, , ,
And here | ye lie | baiting | of bom|bards, when
,
, , ,
,
Ye should | do serv|ice. Hark | the trump|ets
sound,
,
, , ,
,
They're come | alrea|dy from | the christ|ening,
,
, , ,
2 ,
Go* break | among | the press,| and find | a
way^out
, , ,
, ,
To let | the troop | pass fair/ly; or | I'll find
,
, ,
, ,
, ->
A Marsh|alsea,| shall hold | ye play | these two
|| months.
PORTER
, 2 ,
Make^|way there*,| for the prin|cess.
MAN
, x
You / great fellow, ??
,
, , T T
T
Stand close^|up, or | I'll make | your head
ache. ??
PORTER
,
, ,
, ,
You in | the cam|let, get | up on | the rail,
,
, , __
oo
I'll peck | you ore | the pales | else.|
[Exeunt]