Henry V

London. A street.
 
[Enter Corporal NYM and Lieutenant BARDOLPH]
 
BARDOLPH
Well met Corporal Nym.
 
NYM
Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.
 
BARDOLPH
What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet?
 
NYM
For my part, I care not: I say little: but when time shall serve, there shall be smiles; but that shall be as it may. I dare not fight, but I will wink and hold out mine iron: it is a simple one, but what though? it will toast cheese, and it will endure cold, as another man's sword will: and there's an end.
 
BARDOLPH
I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends, and we'll be all three sworn brothers to France: let it be so good Corporal Nym.
 
NYM
Faith, I will live so long as I may, that's the certain of it: and when I cannot live any longer, I will do as I may: that is my rest, that is the rendezvous of it.
 
BARDOLPH
It is certain corporal, that he is married to Nell Quickly, and certainly she did you wrong, for you were troth-plight to her.
 
NYM
I cannot tell, things must be as they may: men may sleep, and they may have their throats about them at that time, and some say, knives have edges: It must be as it may, though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod, There must be conclusions, Well, I cannot tell.
 
[Enter PISTOL and Hostess]
 
BARDOLPH
Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife: good corporal be patient here. How now mine host Pistol?
 
PISTOL
Base tike, callst thou me host, now by this hand I swear I scorn the term: Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.
 
HOSTESS
No by my troth, not long: for we cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live honestly by the prick of their needles, but it will be thought we keep a bawdy house straight. O well a day Lady, if he be not drawn now, we shall see wilful adultery and murder committed.
 
BARDOLPH
Good lieutenant, good corporal offer nothing here.
 
NYM
Pish.
 
PISTOL
Pish for thee, Iceland dog: thou prick-eared cur of Iceland.
 
HOSTESS
Good Corporal Nym show thy valor, and put up your sword.
 
NYM
Will you shog off? I would have you solus.
 
PISTOL
Solus, egregious dog? O viper vile; the solus in thy most mervailous face, the solus in thy teeth, and in thy throat, and in thy hateful lungs, yea in thy maw perdy; and which is worse, within thy nasty mouth. I do retort the solus in thy bowels, for I can take, and Pistol's cock is up, and flashing fire will follow.
 
NYM
I am not Barbason, you cannot conjure me: I have a humor to knock you indifferently well: If you grow foul with me Pistol, I will scour you with my rapier, as I may, in fair terms. If you would walk off, I would prick your guts a little in good terms, as I may, and that's the humor of it.
 
PISTOL
O braggart vile, and damned furious wight, The grave doth gape, and doting death is near, Therefore exhale.
 
BARDOLPH
Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the first stroke, I'll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier.
 
[Draws]
 
PISTOL
An oath of mickle might, and fury shall abate. Give me thy fist, thy fore-foot to me give: Thy spirits are most tall.
 
NYM
I will cut thy throat one time or other in fair terms, that is the humor of it.
 
PISTOL
Couple a gorge, That is the word. I thee defy again. O hound of Crete, thinkst thou my spouse to get? No; to the spital go, and from the powdering tub of infamy fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid's kind, Doll Tearsheet, she by name, and her espouse: I have, and I will hold the quondam Quickly for the only she: and pauca, there's enough to go to.
 
[Enter the Boy]
 
BOY
Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master, and your hostess: he is very sick, and would to bed. Good Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets, and do the office of a warming-pan: Faith, he's very ill.
 
BARDOLPH
Away you rogue.
 
HOSTESS
By my troth he'll yield the crow a pudding one of these days: The king has killed his heart. Good husband come home presently.
 
[Exeunt Hostess and Boy]
 
BARDOLPH
Come, shall I make you two friends. We must to France together: why the devil should we keep knives to cut one another's throats?
 
PISTOL
Let floods oreswell, and fiends for food howl on.
 
NYM
You'll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting?
 
PISTOL
Base is the slave that pays.
 
NYM
That now I will have: that's the humor of it.
 
PISTOL
As manhood shall compound: push home.
 
[They draw]
 
BARDOLPH
By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I'll kill him: by this sword, I will.
 
PISTOL
Sword is an oath, and oaths must have their course.
 
BARDOLPH
Corporal Nym, and thou wilt be friends be friends, and thou wilt not, why then be enemies with me too: Prithee put up.
 
PISTOL
A noble shalt thou have, and present pay, and liquor likewise will I give to thee, and friendship shall combine, and brotherhood. I'll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me, is not this just? for I shall subtler be unto the camp, and profits will accrue. Give me thy hand.
 
NYM
I shall have my noble?
 
PISTOL
In cash, most justly paid.
 
NYM
Well, then that the humor of it.
 
[Enter Hostess]
 
HOSTESS
As ever you came of women, come in quickly to Sir John: A poor heart, he is so shaked of a burning quotidian tertian, that it is most lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him.
 
NYM
The king hath run bad humors on the knight, that's the even of it.
 
PISTOL
Nym, thou hast spoke the right, His heart is fracted and corroborate.
 
NYM
The king is a good king, but it must be as it may: he passes some humors, and careers.
 
PISTOL
Let us condole the knight, for (lambkins) we will live.