Prescanned Shakespeare.com
presented by Acoustic Learning


Henry IV part two

Act V, Scene 1

Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S house.
 
[Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, and Page]
 
SHALLOW
By cock and pie, you shall not away tonight. What Davy, I say.
 
FALSTAFF
You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.
 
SHALLOW
I will not excuse you: you shall not be excused. Excuses shall not be admitted: there is no excuse shall serve: you shall not be excused.
Why Davy.
 
DAVY
Here sir.
 
SHALLOW
Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see (Davy) let me see: William cook, bid him come hither. Sir John, you shall not be excused.
 
DAVY
Marry sir, thus: those precepts cannot be served? and again sir, shall we sow the headland with wheat?
 
SHALLOW
With red wheat Davy. But for William cook: are there no young pigeons?
 
DAVY
Yes sir.
Here is now the smith's note, for shoeing,
And plow-irons.
 
SHALLOW
Let it be cast, and paid: Sir John, you shall not be excused.
 
DAVY
Sir, a new link to the bucket must need be had: and sir, do you mean to stop any of William's wages, about the sack he lost the other day, at Hinckley fair?
 
SHALLOW
He shall answer it:
Some pigeons Davy, a couple of short-legged hens: a joint of mutton, and any pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook.
 
DAVY
Doth the man of war, stay all night sir?
 
SHALLOW
Yes Davy:
I will use him well. A friend in the court, is better than a penny in purse? Use his men well Davy, for they are arrant knaves, and will backbite.
 
DAVY
No worse than they are bitten, sir: for they have marvellous foul linen.
 
SHALLOW
Well conceited Davy: about thy business, Davy.
 
DAVY
I beseech you sir,
To countenance William Visor of Woncot, against Clement Perkes of the hill.
 
SHALLOW
There is many complaints Davy, against that Visor, that Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.
 
DAVY
I grant your worship, that he is a knave sir: but yet heaven forbid sir, but a knave should have some countenance, at his friend's request. An honest man sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave is not. I have served your worship truly sir; this eight years: and if I cannot once or twice in a quarter bear out a knave, against an honest man, I have but a very little credit with your worship. The knave is mine honest friend sir, therefore I beseech your worship, let him be countenanced.
 
SHALLOW
Go to,
    ,    ,   ,   ,   ,
I say he shall have no wrong: Look about Davy.
    ,    ,   ,   ,   ,
Where are you, Sir John? Come, off with your boots.
    ,    ,   ,   ,   ,
Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.
 
BARDOLPH
I am glad to see your worship.
 
SHALLOW
I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master Bardolph: and welcome my tall fellow.
Come Sir John.
 
FALSTAFF
I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow. Bardolph, look to our horses. If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four dozen of such bearded hermits' staves, as Master Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's spirits, and his: they, by observing of him, do bear themselves like foolish justices: he, by conversing with them, is turned into a justice-like serving-man. Their spirits are so married in conjunction, with the participation of society, that they flock together in consent, like so many wild-geese. If I had a suit to Master Shallow, I would humor his men, with the imputation of being near their master: if to his men, I would curry with Master Shallow, that no man could better command his servants. It is certain, that either wise bearing, or ignorant carriage is caught, as men take diseases, one of another: therefore, let men take heed of their company. I will devise matter enough out of this Shallow, to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter, the wearing out of six fashions (which is four terms) or two actions, and he shall laugh without intervallums. O it is much that a lie (with a slight oath) and a jest (with a sad brow) will do, with a fellow, that never had the ache in his shoulders. O you shall see him laugh, till his face be like a wet cloak, ill laid up.
 
SHALLOW [Within]
Sir John.
 
FALSTAFF
I come Master Shallow, I come Master Shallow.
 
[Exit]

← Previous Scene | Next Scene →


Home