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The same. A street.
[Enter LAUNCE, leading a dog]
LAUNCE
Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping: all the kind of the
Launces, have this very fault: I have received my proportion, like the
prodigious son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's court: I
think Crab my dog, be the sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother
weeping: my father wailing: my sister crying: our maid howling: our cat
wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not
this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble stone,
and has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have wept to have seen
our parting: why my grandam having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind
at my parting: Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This shoe is my father:
no, this left shoe is my father; no, no, this left shoe is my mother: nay,
that cannot be so neither: yes; it is so, it is so, it hath the worser sole:
This shoe with the hole in it, is my mother, and this my father: a
vengeance on it, there 'tis: now sir, this staff is my sister: for, look
you, she is as white as a lily, and as small as a wand: this hat is Nan our
maid: I am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the dog: Oh, the dog is
me, and I am myself: aye, so, so: Now come I to my father; Father, your
blessing: now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping: now should I
kiss my father; well, he weeps on: Now come I to my mother: oh that she
could speak now, like a wood woman: Well, I kiss her: why there 'tis; here's
my mother's breath up and down: Now come I to my sister; mark the moan she
makes: Now the dog all this while sheds not a tear: nor speaks a word: but
see how I lay the dust with my tears.
PANTHINO
Launce, away, away: aboard: thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after
with oars; what's the matter? why weepst thou man? Away ass, you'll lose
the tide, if you tarry any longer.
LAUNCE
It is no matter if the tied were lost, for it is the unkindest tide, that
ever any man tied.
PANTHINO
What's the unkindest tide?
LAUNCE
Why, he that's tied here, Crab my dog.
PANTHINO
Tut, man: I mean thou'lt lose the flood, and in losing the flood, lose thy
voyage, and in losing thy voyage, lose thy master, and in losing thy
master, lose thy service, and in losing thy service-- Why dost thou stop my
mouth?
LAUNCE
For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
PANTHINO
Where should I lose my tongue?
LAUNCE
In thy tale.
PANTHINO
In thy tail.
LAUNCE
Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and the service, and the
tied: Why man, if the river were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears:
if the wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.
PANTHINO
Come: come away man, I was sent to call thee.
LAUNCE
Sir: call me what thou darst.
PANTHINO
Wilt thou go?
LAUNCE
Well, I will go.
[Exeunt]