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A room in the Garter Inn.
[Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN]
FALSTAFF
Mine host of the Garter?
HOST
What says my bully-rook? speak scholarly, and wisely.
FALSTAFF
Truly mine host; I must turn away some of my followers.
HOST
Discard, (bully Hercules) cashier; let them wag; trot, trot.
FALSTAFF
I sit at ten pounds a week.
HOST
Thou'rt an emperor (Caesar, Keisar and Pheezar). I will entertain Bardolph:
he shall draw; he shall tap; said I well (bully Hector)?
FALSTAFF
Do so (good mine host).
HOST
I have spoke: let him follow: Let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a
word: follow.
[Exit]
FALSTAFF
Bardolph, follow him: A tapster is a good trade: an old cloak, makes a new
jerkin: a withered serving-man, a fresh tapster: Go, adieu.
BARDOLPH
It is a life that I have desired: I will thrive.
PISTOL
O base Hungarian wight: wilt thou the spigot wield.
[Exit BARDOLPH]
NYM
He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited?
FALSTAFF
I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox: his thefts were too open: his
filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
NYM
The good humor is to steal at a minute's rest.
PISTOL
Convey: the wise it call: Steal? foh: a fico for the phrase.
FALSTAFF
Well sirs, I am almost out at heels.
PISTOL
Why then let kibes ensue.
FALSTAFF
There is no remedy: I must cony-catch, I must shift.
PISTOL
Young ravens must have food.
FALSTAFF
Which of you know Ford of this town?
PISTOL
I ken the wight: he is of substance good.
FALSTAFF
My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
PISTOL
Two yards, and more.
FALSTAFF
No quips now Pistol: (Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about: but I am
now about no waste: I am about thrift) briefly: I do mean to make love to
Ford's wife: I spy entertainment in her: she discourses: she carves: she
gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar
style, and the hardest voice of her behavior (to be Englished rightly) is, I
am Sir John Falstaff's.
PISTOL
He hath studied her will, and translated her will: out of honesty, into
English.
NYM
The anchor is deep: will that humor pass?
FALSTAFF
Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse: he hath a
legion of angels.
PISTOL
As many devils entertain: and to her boy say I.
NYM
The humor rises: it is good: humour me the angels.
FALSTAFF
I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife, who
even now gave me good eyes too; examined my parts with most judicious
oeillades: sometimes the beam of her view, gilded my foot: sometimes my
portly belly.
PISTOL
Then did the sun on dunghill shine.
NYM
I thank thee for that humor.
FALSTAFF
O she did so course ore my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the
appetite of her eye, did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass: Here's
another letter to her: she bears the purse too: she is a region in Guiana:
all gold, and bounty: I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be
exchequers to me: they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to
them both: Go, bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to
Mistress Ford: we will thrive (lads) we will thrive.
PISTOL
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side wear steel? then Lucifer take all.
NYM
I will run no base humor: here take the humor-letter; I will keep the
havior of reputation.
FALSTAFF
__ , ,
x ,
Hold | sirrah,| bear you | these letters | tightly,
__
, ,
2 , ,
Sail | like my | pinnace | to these
gold|en shores.
T
T . T x
T T T
Rogues, hence, avaunt,| vanish like^|hailstones; go,
T
T . T 2 ,
, ,
Trudge;
plod away | of the hoof:| seek^shelt|er, pack:
, , , ,
,
Falstaff*| will learn | the hon|or of
| the age,
T
T . T , ,
,
French thrift, you* rogues,| myself,| and skirt|ed page.
[Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN]
PISTOL
,
, ,
,
Let^vult|ures gripe | thy guts:| for gourd,| and
<- x , , , ,
, ,
Fullam || holds: and high and low
beguiles the rich and poor, ????
, , , , ,
Tester | I'll have | in pouch | when thou | shalt lack,
, ,
__
Base Phryg/ian | Turk.
NYM
, , ,
I have | ope|rations, (tri with prev)
, ,
, ___ oo
Which be | humors | of re|venge.|
PISTOL
,
,
Wilt thou | revenge?
NYM
,
, ,
By welk|in, and | her star.
PISTOL
,
,
With wit,| or steel?
NYM
,
, ,
With both | the hum|ors, I:
, 2 , ,
2 ,
,
I will di|scuss the | humor | of this love | to Ford.
PISTOL
,
, ,
,
And I | to Page | shall eke | unfold
,
, , oo
How* Fal|staff^varl|et vile)|
,
, ,
,
His dove | will prove;| his gold | will hold,
. T T T
, oo
And his soft couch | defile.|
NYM
My humor shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison: I will
possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous: that is my
true humor.
PISTOL
Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee: troop on.
[Exeunt]