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A hall In ANGELO's house.
[Enter ANGELO, ESCALUS, and a Justice, Provost, Officers, and other
Attendants, behind]
ANGELO
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We must | not make | a scare|crow of | the law,
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Setting | it up | to fear | the birds | of prey,
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And let | it keep one shape,| till cust|om make
it
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Their perch,| and not | their ter|ror.
ESCALUS
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Aye,| but yet
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Let us be | keen, and | rather | cut a | little
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Than fall,| and bruise | to death:| alas,| this
gen||tleman
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Whom I | would save,| had a most | noble ||
father,
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Let but | your hon|or know |
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(Whom I | believe | to be most | straight in |
virtue)
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That in the | working | of your | own
af|fections,
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Had time | cohered | with place,| or place | with
wish||ing,
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Or | that the res|olute | acting | of our blood
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Could have | attained | the effect | of your own |
purpose,
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Whether | you had / not some|time in | your life
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Erred in | this point,| which now | you cens|ure
him,
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And pulled | the law | upon | you.|
ANGELO
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'Tis one | thing to | be tempt|ed (Es|calus)
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Anoth|er thing | to fall:| I not | deny
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The ju|ry pas|sing on | the pris|oner's life
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May in | the sworn | twelve have a thief,| or
two
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Guiltier | than him | they try,| what's open
| made to || justice,
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That just|ice^seiz|es; what | know* the laws
??
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That thieves | do pass | on thieves?| 'tis very
| pregnant,
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The jew|el that | we find,| we stoop,| and take it,
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Because | we see it;| but what | we do | not see,
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We tread | upon,| and nev|er think | of it.
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You may | not so | exten|uate | his offense,
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For I | have had | such^faults;| but rath|er tell
|| me
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When I,| that cens|ure him,| do so | offend,
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Let* mine / own judg|ment pat|tern out | my death,
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And noth|ing come | in part|ial. Sir,| he must
die.
ESCALUS
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Be it as | your wis|dom will.
ANGELO
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Where is the | provost?
PROVOST
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Here if it | like your | honor.
ANGELO
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See that | Claudio
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Be ex|ecu|ted by nine | tomor|row morn||ing,
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Bring | him his confes|sor, let | him be |
prepared,
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For that's | the ut|most of | his pil|grimage.
[Exit Provost]
ESCALUS
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Well: heav/en for|give him;| and forgive | us all:
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Some* rise | by sin,| and some | by vir|tue fall:
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Some* run | from brakes | of ice,| and ans|wer
none,
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And some | condemn|ed for | a fault | alone.
[Enter ELBOW, and Officers with FROTH and POMPEY]
ELBOW
Come, bring them away: if these be good people in a commonweal, that do
nothing but use their abuses in common houses, I know no law: bring them
away.
ANGELO
How now sir, what's your name? And what's the matter?
ELBOW
If it please your honor, I am the poor duke's constable, and my name is
Elbow; I do lean upon justice sir, and do bring in here before your good
honor two notorious benefactors.
ANGELO
Benefactors? Well: what benefactors are they? are they not malefactors?
ELBOW
If it please your honor, I know not well what they are: but precise
villains they are, that I am sure of, and void of all profanation in the
world, that good Christians ought to have.
ESCALUS
This comes off well; here's a wise officer.
ANGELO
Go to: what quality are they of? Elbow is your name?
Why dost thou not
speak Elbow?
POMPEY
He cannot sir: he's out at elbow.
ANGELO
What are you sir?
ELBOW
He sir: a tapster sir: parcel-bawd: one that serves a bad woman: whose
house sir was (as they say) plucked down in the suburbs: and now she
professes a hot-house; which, I think is a very ill house too.
ESCALUS
How know you that?
ELBOW
My wife sir? whom I detest before heaven, and your honor.
ESCALUS
How? thy wife?
ELBOW
Aye sir: whom I thank heaven is an honest woman.
ESCALUS
Dost thou detest her therefore?
ELBOW
I say sir, I will detest myself also, as well as she, that this house, if
it be not a bawd's house, it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house.
ESCALUS
How dost thou know that, constable?
ELBOW
Marry sir, by my wife, who, if she had been a woman cardinally given, might
have been accused in fornication, adultery, and all uncleanliness there.
ESCALUS
By the woman's means?
ELBOW
Aye sir, by Mistress Overdone's means: but as she spit in his face, so she
defied him.
POMPEY
Sir, if it please your honor, this is not so.
ELBOW
Prove it before these varlets here, thou honorable man; prove it.
ESCALUS
Do you hear how he misplaces?
POMPEY
Sir, she came in great with child: and longing (saving your honor's
reverence) for stewed prunes; sir, we had but two in the house, which at
that very distant time stood, as it were in a fruit-dish (a dish of some
three-pence; your honors have seen such dishes) they are not China dishes,
but very good dishes.
ESCALUS
Go to: go to: no matter for the dish sir.
POMPEY
No indeed sir not of a pin; you are therein in the right: but, to the
point: as I say, this Mistress Elbow, being (as I say) with child, and being
great-bellied, and longing (as I said) for prunes: and having but two in the
dish (as I said) Master Froth here, this very man, having eaten the rest (as
I said) and (as I say) paying for them very honestly: for, as you know
Master Froth, I could not give you three-pence again.
FROTH
No indeed.
POMPEY
Very well: you being then (if you be remembered) cracking the stones of the
foresaid prunes.
FROTH
Aye, so I did indeed.
POMPEY
Why, very well: I telling you then (if you be remembered) that such a one,
and such a one, were past cure of the thing you wot of, unless they kept
very good diet, as I told you.
FROTH
All this is true.
POMPEY
Why very well then.
ESCALUS
Come: you are a tedious fool: to the purpose: what was done to Elbow's wife,
that he hath cause to complain of? Come me to what was done to her.
POMPEY
Sir, your honor cannot come to that yet.
ESCALUS
No sir, nor I mean it not.
POMPEY
Sir, but you shall come to it, by your honor's leave: And I beseech you,
look into Master Froth here sir, a man of four-score pound a year; whose
father died at Hallowmas: was it not at Hallowmas Master Froth?
FROTH
All-hallond eve.
POMPEY
Why very well: I hope here be truths: he sir, sitting (as I say) in a lower
chair, sir, 'twas in the Bunch of Grapes, where indeed you have a delight to
sit, have you not?
FROTH
I have so, because it is an open room, and good for winter.
POMPEY
Why very well then: I hope here be truths.
ANGELO
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This will last | out a | night in | Russia
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When nights | are long|est there:| I'll take | my
leave,
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And leave | you to | the hear|ing of | the cause;
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Hoping you'll | find good cause | to whip | them
all.
ESCALUS
I think no less: good morrow to your lordship. Now sir, come on: what was
done to Elbow's wife, once more?
POMPEY
Once sir? there was nothing done to her once.
ELBOW
I beseech you sir, ask him what this man did to my wife.
POMPEY
I beseech your honor, ask me.
ESCALUS
Well sir, what did this gentleman to her?
POMPEY
I beseech you sir, look in this gentleman's face: good Master Froth look
upon his honor; 'tis for a good purpose: Doth your honor mark his face?
ESCALUS
Aye sir, very well.
POMPEY
Nay, I beseech you mark it well.
ESCALUS
Well, I do so.
POMPEY
Doth your honor see any harm in his face?
ESCALUS
Why no.
POMPEY
I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him: Good
then: if his face be the worst thing about him, how could Master Froth do
the constable's wife any harm? I would know that of your honor.
ESCALUS
He's in the right (constable) what say you to it?
ELBOW
First, and it like you, the house is a respected house; next, this is a
respected fellow, and his mistress is a respected woman.
POMPEY
By this hand sir, his wife is a more respected person than any of us all.
ELBOW
Varlet, thou liest; thou liest wicked varlet: the time has yet to come that
she was ever respected with man, woman, or child.
POMPEY
Sir, she was respected with him, before he married with her.
ESCALUS
Which is the wiser here; Justice or Iniquity? Is this true?
ELBOW
O thou caitiff: O thou varlet: O thou wicked Hannibal; I respected with her,
before I was married to her? If ever I was respected with her, or she with
me, let not your worship think me the poor duke's officer: Prove this, thou
wicked Hannibal, or I'll have mine action of battery on thee.
ESCALUS
If he took you a box of the ear, you might have your action of slander too.
ELBOW
Marry I thank your good worship for it: what is it your worship's pleasure
I shall do with this wicked caitiff?
ESCALUS
Truly officer, because he hath some offenses in him that thou wouldst
discover, if thou couldst, let him continue in his courses, till thou knowst
what they are.
ELBOW
Marry I thank your worship for it: Thou seest thou wicked varlet now,
what's come upon thee. Thou art to continue now thou varlet, thou art to
continue.
ESCALUS
Where were you born, friend?
FROTH
Here in Vienna, sir.
ESCALUS
Are you of fourscore pounds a year?
FROTH
Yes, and it please you, sir.
ESCALUS
So: what trade are you of, sir?
POMPEY
A tapster, a poor widow's tapster.
ESCALUS
Your mistress' name?
POMPEY
Mistress Overdone.
ESCALUS
Hath she had any more than one husband?
POMPEY
Nine, sir: Overdone by the last.
ESCALUS
Nine? Come hither to me, Master Froth; Master Froth, I would not have you
acquainted with tapsters; they will draw you Master Froth, and you will
hang them: Get you gone, and let me hear no more of you.
FROTH
I thank your worship: For mine own part, I never come into any room in a
tap-house, but I am drawn in.
ESCALUS
Well: no more of it Master Froth: farewell: Come you hither to me, Master
tapster: what's your name, Master tapster?
POMPEY
Pompey.
ESCALUS
What else?
POMPEY
Bum, sir.
ESCALUS
Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about you, so that in the
beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great; Pompey, you are partly a bawd,
Pompey; howsoever you color it in being a tapster, are you not? come, tell
me true, it shall be the better for you.
POMPEY
Truly sir, I am a poor fellow that would live.
ESCALUS
How would you live Pompey? by being a bawd? What do you think of the trade
Pompey? is it a lawful trade?
POMPEY
If the law would allow it, sir.
ESCALUS
But the law will not allow it Pompey; nor it shall not be allowed in
Vienna.
POMPEY
Does your worship mean to geld and splay all the youth of the city?
ESCALUS
No, Pompey.
POMPEY
Truly sir, in my poor opinion, they will to it then: If your worship will
take order for the drabs and the knaves, you need not to fear the bawds.
ESCALUS
There are pretty orders beginning I can tell you: it is but heading, and
hanging.
POMPEY
If you head, and hang all that offend that way but for ten year together;
you'll be glad to give out a commission for more heads: if this law hold in
Vienna ten year, I'll rent the fairest house in it after three-pence a bay:
if you live to see this come to pass, say Pompey told you so.
ESCALUS
Thank you good Pompey; and in requital of your prophecy, hark you: I
advise you let me not find you before me again upon any complaint
whatsoever; no, not for dwelling where you do: if I do Pompey, I shall beat
you to your tent, and prove a shrewd Caesar to you: in plain dealing
Pompey, I shall have you whipped; so for this time, Pompey, fare you well.
POMPEY
I thank your worship for your good counsel; but I shall follow it as
the flesh and fortune shall better determine. Whip me? No, no, let carman
whip his jade, The valiant heart's not whipped out of his trade.
[Exit]
ESCALUS
Come hither to me, Master Elbow; come hither Master constable. How long
have you been in this place of constable?
ELBOW
Seven year, and a half sir.
ESCALUS
I thought by your readiness in the office, you had continued in it some
time: you say seven years together.
ELBOW
And a half sir.
ESCALUS
Alas, it hath been great pains to you: They do you wrong to put you so oft
upon it. Are there not men in your ward sufficient to serve it?
ELBOW
Faith sir, few of any wit in such matters: as they are chosen, they are
glad to choose me for them; I do it for some piece of money, and go through
with all.
ESCALUS
Look you bring me in the names of some six or seven, the most sufficient of
your parish.
ELBOW
To your worship's house sir?
ESCALUS
To my house: Fare you well: what's o'clock, think you?
JUSTICE
Eleven, sir.
ESCALUS
I pray you home to dinner with me.
JUSTICE
I humbly thank you.
ESCALUS
It grieves me for the death of Claudio
But there's no remedy:
JUSTICE
Lord Angelo is severe.
ESCALUS
It is but needful.
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Mercy is | not it|self, that | oft looks so;
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Pardon | is still | the nurse | of sec|ond woe:
But yet, poor Claudio; there is no remedy.
Come sir.
[Exeunt]