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Love's Labours Lost

Act IV, Scene 2

The same.
 
[Enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, and DULL]
 
NATHANIEL
Very reverend sport truly; and done in the testimony of a good conscience.
 
HOLOFERNES
The deer was (as you know) sanguis in blood, ripe as the pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in the ear of caelo the sky; the welkin the heaven, and anon falleth like a crab on the face of terra, the soil, the land, the earth.
 
NATHANIEL
Truly Master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly varied like a scholar at the least: but sir I assure ye, it was a buck of the first head.
 
HOLOFERNES
Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.
 
DULL
'Twas not a haud credo, 'twas a pricket.
 
HOLOFERNES
Most barbarous intimation: yet a kind of insinuation, as it were in via, in way of explication facere: as it were replication, or rather ostentare, to show as it were his inclination after his undressed, unpolished, uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather unlettered, or ratherest unconfirmed fashion, to insert again my haud credo for a deer.
 
DULL
I said the deer was not a haud credo, twas a pricket.
 
HOLOFERNES
Twice-sod simplicity, his coctus, O thou monster Ignorance, how deformed dost thou look.
 
NATHANIEL
Sir he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred in a book.
He hath not eat paper as it were:
He hath not drunk ink.
His intellect is not replenished, he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts: and such barren plants are set before us, that we thankful should be: which we of taste and feeling, are for those parts that do fructify in us more than he.
       ,        ,          ,       ,         2     ,      2    ,       2    ,    oo
      For as | it would | ill be|come me | to be vain,| indiscreet,| or a fool;|
       ,          ,         T    T   T     ,            ,         ,        ,
      So were | there a | patch set on | learning,| to see | him in | a school.
           ,     ,     ,    ,    2              ,   ,          ,    oo
      But om|ne be|ne say | I, being | of an / old fath|er's mind,|
       ,           ,           ,                ,   ,          ,
      Many | can brook | the weath|er, that / love not | the wind.  \\
 
DULL
You two are book-men: can you tell by your wit, what was a month old at Cain's birth, that's not five weeks old as yet?
 
HOLOFERNES
Dictynna goodman Dull, Dictynna goodman Dull.
 
DULL
What is Dictynna?
 
NATHANIEL
A title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon.
 
HOLOFERNES
            ,     2      D    D         ,   2       D   D
      The moon was a | month old | when Adam was | no more,   ??
                  ,     .   D    D               ,     .   D    D
      And raught^not | to five weeks | when he came | to five-score.
The allusion holds in the exchange.
 
DULL
'Tis true indeed, the collusion holds in the exchange.
 
HOLOFERNES
God comfort thy capacity, I say, the allusion holds in the exchange.
 
DULL
And I say the pollusion holds in the exchange: for the moon is never but a month old: and I say beside that, 'twas a pricket that the princess killed.
 
HOLOFERNES
Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph on the death of the deer. And to humor the ignorant callled the deer, the princess killed a pricket.
 
NATHANIEL
Perge, good Master Holofernes, perge, so it shall please you to abrogate scurrility.
 
HOLOFERNES
I will something affect the letter, for it argues facility.
            ,        ,          ,             ,
      The prey|ful prin|cess pierced | and pricked
                ,       ,         ,       o
            a pret|ty pleas|ing prick|et,
             ,        ,         ,        ,
      Some* say | a sore,| but not | a sore,
                  ,           ,           ,        o
            Till now | made sore | with shoot|ing.
            ,          ,         ,         ,
      The dogs | did yell,| put ell | to sore,
                  ,       ,            ,       o
            Then sor|el jumps | from thick|et:
           ,        ,         ,       ,
      Or prick|et sore,| or else | sorel,
                  ,       ,        ,        o
            The peop|le fall | a-hoot|ing.
           ,         ,          ,         ,
      If sore | be sore,| then ell | to sore,
                   ,       ,      T   T T
            Makes^fif|ty sores | one sorel:
          ,         ,       ,        ,
      Of one | sore^I | a hund|red make
                ,       ,     T    T  T
            By ad|ding but | one more L.
 
NATHANIEL
A rare talent.
 
DULL
If a talent be a claw, look how he claws him with a talent.
 
HOLOFERNES
This is a gift that I have simple: simple, a foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions. These are begot in the ventricle of memory, nourished in the womb of pia mater, and delivered upon the mellowing of occasion: but the gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it.
 
NATHANIEL
Sir, I praise the Lord for you, and so may my parishioners, for their sons are well tutored by you, and their daughters profit very greatly under you: you are a good member of the commonwealth.
 
HOLOFERNES
Mehercle: if their sons be ingenuous, they shall want no instruction; if their daughters be capable, I will put it to them. But vir sapit qui pauca loquitur, a soul feminine saluteth us.
 
[Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD]
 
JAQUENETTA
God give you good morrow master Parson.
 
HOLOFERNES
Master Parson, quasi person? And if one should be pierced, which is the one?
 
COSTARD
Marry master schoolmaster, he that is likest to a hogshead.
 
NATHANIEL
Of piercing a hogshead, a good lustre of conceit in a tuft of earth, fire enough for a flint, pearl enough for a swine: 'tis pretty, it is well.
 
JAQUENETTA
Good master Parson be so good as read me this letter, it was given me by Costard, and sent me from Don Armado: I beseech you read it.
 
NATHANIEL
Fauste precor gelida, quando pecus omne sub umbra Ruminat, and so forth. Ah good old Mantuan, I may speak of thee as the traveller doth of Venice, venchie, vencha, que non ti vede, que non ti pretia. Old Mantuan, old Mantuan. Who understandeth thee not, do, re, sol, la, mi, fa: under pardon sir, what are the contents? Or rather as Horace says in his, What my soul verses?
 
HOLOFERNES
Aye sir, and very learned.
 
HOLOFERNES
Let me hear a staff, a stanze, a verse; lege domine.
 
NATHANIEL
       .   T    T   T        ,           ,         ,          ,
      If love make me | forsworn,| how shall | I swear | to love?
          ,       ,             ,        ,         ,       ,
      Ah nev|er faith | could hold,| if not | to beaut|y vowed.
              ,       ,         ,          ,           ,         ,
      Though to | myself | forsworn,| to thee | I'll faith|ful prove,
                ,          ,          ,         ,          ,  2     ,
      Those thoughts | to me | were oaks,| to thee | like os|iers bowed.
       ,           ,       ,           ,           ,            ,
      Study | his bi|as leaves,| and makes | his book | thine^eyes,
             ,            ,          ,          ,            ,      ,
      Where all | those pleas|ures live,| that art | would comp|rehend.
           ,         ,         ,     .   T    T    T          ,
      If know|ledge be | the mark,| to know thee shall | suffice,
             ,       ,           ,            ,          ,         ,
      Well^lear|ned is | that tongue | that well | can thee | commend.
           ,     ,           ,           ,           ,        ,      o
      All^ig|norant | that soul | that sees | thee with|out wond|er,
             ,       ,           ,          ,         ,         ,
      Which is | to me | some praise,| that I | thy parts | admire;
           ,             ,          ,           ,           ,          ,     o
      Thy eye | Jove's^light|ning bears,| thy voice | his dread|ful thund|er,
             ,        ,       ,        ,              ,     ,
      Which not | to ang|er bent,| is mus|ic, and / sweet fire.
         ,   2    ,         ,         ,       ,           ,
      Celes|tial as | thou art,| Oh pard|on love | this wrong,
        T    T     T          ,            ,         ,         ,
      That sings heav|en's praise | with such | an earth|ly tongue.
 
PEDANT
You find not the apostraphas, and so miss the accent. Let me supervise the canzonet.
 
NATHANIEL
Here are only numbers ratified, but for the elegancy, facility, and golden cadence of poesy caret: Ovidius Naso was the man, and why indeed Naso, but for smelling out the odouriferous flowers of fancy? The jerks of invention imitari is nothing: so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper, the tired horse his rider: but damosella virgin, was this directed to you?
 
JAQUENETTA
Aye sir from one Monsieur Berowne, one of the strange queen's lords.
 
NATHANIEL
I will overglance the superscript.
To the snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady Rosaline. I will look again on the intellect of the letter, for the nomination of the party writing to the person written unto.
Your ladyship's in all desired employment, Berowne.
 
PEDANT
Sir Holofernes, this Berowne is one of the votaries with the king: and here he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger queen's: which accidentally, or by the way of progression, hath miscarried. Trip and go my sweet, deliver this paper into the hand of the king, it may concern much: stay not thy compliment, I forgive thy duty, adieu.
 
JAQUENETTA
Good Costard go with me:
Sir God save your life.
 
COSTARD
Have with thee my girl.
 
[Exeunt COSTARD and JAQUENETTA]
 
HOLOFERNES
Sir you have done this in the fear of God very religiously: and as a certain father saith
 
PEDANT
Sir tell me not of the father, I do fear colorable colors. But to return to the verses, did they please you Sir Nathaniel?
 
NATHANIEL
Marvellous well for the pen.
 
PEDANT
I do dine today at the father's of a certain pupil of mine, where if (before repast) it shall please you to gratify the table with a grace, I will on my privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto, where I will prove those verses to be very unlearned, neither savoring of poetry, wit, nor invention. I beseech your society.
 
NATHANIEL
And thank you too: for society (saith the text) is the happiness of life.
 
HOLOFERNES
And certes the text most infallibly concludes it. Sir I do invite you too, you shall not say me nay: pauca verba.
Away, the gentles are at their game, and we will to our recreation.
 
[Exeunt]

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