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The same.
[Enter ARMADO and MOTH]
ARMADO
Warble child, make passionate my sense of hearing.
MOTH
Concolinel.
ARMADO
Sweet air, go tenderness of years: take this key, give enlargement to the
swain, bring him festinately hither: I must employ him in a letter to my
love.
MOTH
Will you win your love with a French brawl?
ARMADO
How meanest thou, brawling in French?
MOTH
No my complete master, but to jig off a tune at the tongue's end, canary to
it with your feet, humor it with turning up your eye: sigh a note and sing a
note, sometime through the throat: as if you swallowed love with singing,
love sometime through the nose as if you snuffed up love by smelling love
with your hat penthouse-like ore the shop of your eyes; with your arms
crossed on your thin-belly doublet, like a rabbit on a spit, or your hands
in your pocket, like a man after the old painting, and keep not too long in
one tune, but a snip and away: these are complements, these are humors,
these betray nice wenches, that would be betrayed without these, and make
them men of note: do you note men that most are affected to these?
ARMADO
How hast thou purchased this experience?
MOTH
By my penny of observation.
ARMADO
But O, but O.
MOTH
The hobby-horse is forgot.
ARMADO
Callst thou my love hobby-horse.
MOTH
No master, the hobby-horse is but a colt, and your love perhaps, a hackney:
but have you forgot your love?
ARMADO
Almost I had.
MOTH
Negligent student, learn her by heart.
ARMADO
By heart, and in heart boy.
MOTH
And out of heart master: all those three I will prove.
ARMADO
What wilt thou prove?
MOTH
A man, if I live (and this) by, in, and without, upon the instant: by heart
you love her, because your heart cannot come by her: in heart you love her,
because your heart is in love with her: and out of heart you love her, being
out of heart that you cannot enjoy her.
ARMADO
I am all these three.
MOTH
And three times as much more, and yet nothing at all.
ARMADO
Fetch hither the swain, he must carry me a letter.
MOTH
A message well sympathized, a horse to be ambassador for an ass.
ARMADO
Ha, ha, what sayest thou?
MOTH
Marry sir, you must send the ass upon the horse, for he is very slow-gaited.
But I go.
ARMADO
The way is but short, away.
MOTH
As swift as lead sir.
ARMADO
The meaning pretty ingenious,
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Is not | lead a | metal | heavy,| dull, and |
slow?
MOTH
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Minime | honest | master,| or rath|er mast|er no.
ARMADO
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I say | lead is | slow.|
MOTH
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You are too*| swift sir | to say | so.
Is that lead slow which is fired from a gun?
ARMADO
Sweet smoke of rhetoric,
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He reputes | me a can|non, and the bul|let that's
he:
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I shoot^thee | at the swain.
MOTH
D D ,
Thump then,| and I flee.
[Exit]
ARMADO
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A most | acu|te juv|enal,| volu|ble and | free of
| grace,
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By thy | favor | sweet | welkin,| I must | sigh |
in thy | face:
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Most | rude | melan|choly,| val|or | gives thee |
place.
My herald is returned.
[Enter MOTH with COSTARD]
MOTH
A wonder master, here's a costard broken in a shin.
ARMADO
Some enigma, some riddle, come, thy l'envoy begin.
COSTARD
No enigma, no riddle, no l'envoy, no salve, in the mail sir. O sir,
plantain, a plain plantain: no l'envoy, no l'envoy, no salve sir, but a
plantain.
ARMADO
By virtue thou enforcest laughter, thy silly thought, my spleen, the heaving
of my lungs provokes me to ridiculous smiling: O pardon me my stars, Doth
the inconsiderate take salve for l'envoy, and the word l'envoy for a salve?
MOTH
Do the wise think them other, is not l'envoy a salve?
ARMADO
No page, it is an epilogue or discourse to make
Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been sain.
Now I will begin your moral, and do you follow with my l'envoy.
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The fox,| the ape,| and the hum|ble-bee,
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Were still | at odds,| being | but three.
MOTH
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Until | the goose | came^out | of door,
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And stayed | the odds | by ad|ding four.
MOTH
A good l'envoy, ending in the goose: would you desire more?
COSTARD
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T oo
The boy | hath sold | him a bar|gain, a | goose,
that's flat.| ??
,
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Sir, your | penny|worth is | good,| and your |
goose be | fat.|
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To sell | a bar|gain well | is as | cunning as |
fast and | loose:|
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T T T ___ T .
T T oo
Let me | see a | fat l'envoy,| Aye | that's a fat
goose.| ??
ARMADO
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Come^hith|er, come | hither:|
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How did | this arg|ument | begin?
MOTH
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By say|ing that | a Cos|tard was | broken | in a
| shin.| (oct with prev two)
Then called you for the l'envoy.
COSTARD
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True, and | I for a | plantain:
,
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Thus came | your arg|ument in: (tri with
prev)
,
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Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you
bought, ????
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And he ended the market. ??
ARMADO
But tell me; how was there a costard broken in a shin?
MOTH
I will tell you sensibly.
COSTARD
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Thou hast | no feel|ing of | it Moth,
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oo
I will | speak that | l'envoy.|
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I Cos|tard run|ning out,| | that was | safely
| within,
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T
Fell ov|er the | thresh|hold,| and broke my shin.
ARMADO
We will talk no more of this matter.
COSTARD
Till there be more matter in the shin.
ARMADO
Sirrah Costard, I will enfranchise thee.
COSTARD
O, marry me to one Frances, I smell some l'envoy, some goose in this.
ARMADO
By my sweet soul, I mean, setting thee at liberty. Enfreedoming thy person:
thou wert immured, restrained, captivated, bound.
COSTARD
True, true, and now you will be my purgation, and let me loose.
ARMADO
I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance, and in lieu thereof, impose
on thee nothing but this: bear this significant to the country maid
Jaquenetta: there is remuneration, for the best ward of mine honor, is
rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow.
[Exit]
MOTH
Like the sequel I.
Signior Costard adieu.
COSTARD
My sweet ounce of man's flesh, my incony Jew: Now will I look to his
remuneration. Remuneration, O, that's the Latin word for three farthings:
three farthings remuneration, what's the price of this inkle? One penny. No,
I'll give you a remuneration: why? It carries it remuneration: Why? It is a
fairer name than a French crown. I will never buy and sell out of this word.
[Enter BEROWNE]
BEROWNE
O my good knave Costard, exceedingly well met.
COSTARD
Pray you sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man buy for a remuneration?
BEROWNE
What is a remuneration?
COSTARD
Marry sir, halfpenny farthing.
BEROWNE
O, why then three-farthing worth of silk.
COSTARD
I thank your worship, God be with you.
BEROWNE
O stay slave, I must employ thee:
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As thou | wilt win | my fav|or, good | my knave,
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Do one | thing for | me that | I shall | entreat.
COSTARD
When would you have it done sir?
BEROWNE
O this afternoon.
COSTARD
Well, I will do it sir: fare you well.
BEROWNE
O thou knowest not what it is.
COSTARD
I shall know sir, when I have done it.
BEROWNE
Why villain thou must know first.
COSTARD
I will come to your worship tomorrow morning.
BEROWNE
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It must | be done | this aft|ernoon.
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Hark | slave,| it is | but this: (tetra
with prev)
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The prin|cess comes | to hunt | here in | the
park,
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And in | her train | there is a | gentle | lady:
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When tongues | speak sweet/ly, then | they name |
her name,
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And Ros|aline | they call | her, ask | for her:
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And to her | white hand see | thou do | commend
,
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This sealed-|up couns|el. There's | thy guer|don:
go.
[Giving him a shilling]
COSTARD
Gardon, O sweet gardon, better than remuneration, eleven-pence farthing
better: most sweet gardon. I will do it sir in print: gardon, remuneration.
[Exit]
BEROWNE
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O, and | I for|sooth in | love,
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T T T oo
I that have | been love's whip?|
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A ve|ry bea|dle to | a hum|orous sigh:|| a
cri|tic,
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T T ,
Nay,| a night-watch con|stable.
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A do|minee|ring pe|dant ore | the boy,
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Than whom | no mort|al so | magnif|icent.
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This wimp|led, whin|ing, pur|blind,^way|ward boy,
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T T ->
This sign|ior jun|ior giant^|dwarf, Don Cu||pid,
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Re|gent of love-|rhymes, lord of fold|ed arms,
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The anoin|ted sov|ereign | of sighs | and groans:
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Liege of | all^loi|terers | and mal|contents:
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Dread prince of plack|ets, king | of cod|pieces,
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Sole im|pera|tor and / great gen|eral
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Of trot|ting 'par|itors (O | my lit|tle heart)
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And I | to be | a cor|poral of / his field,
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And wear | his col|ors like | a tum|bler's hoop.
T T T
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What? I love,| I sue,| I seek | a wife,
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A wom|an that | is like | a Ger|man clock,
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Still a-|repai|ring: ev|er out | of frame,
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And nev|er go|ing aright,| being | a watch:
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But be|ing watched,| that it | may still | go
right.
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Nay, to | be perj|ured, which | is worst | of
all:
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And a/mong three,| to love | the worst | of all,
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A wight|ly want|on, with | a velv|et brow,
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T T 2
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With two | pitch-balls stuck | in her face | for
eyes.
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Aye, and | by heaven,| one^that | will do | the
deed,
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Though Arg|us were | her eu|nuch and | her guard.
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And I | to sigh | for her,| to watch | for her,
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To pray | for her,| go to:| it is | a plague
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That Cup|id will | impose | for my | neglect
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Of his | almigh|ty dread|ful lit|tle might.
, 2
T T T T T
T
Well, I will | love, write, sigh,| pray, sue,
groan,
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Some^men | must love | my lad|y, and / some Joan.
[Exit]