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ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
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There's not a | man I | meet but | doth sa|lute
me
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As if | I were | their well-|acquaint|ed friend,
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And eve|ry one | doth call | me by | my name:
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Some* tend|er mon|ey to me,| some in|vite me;
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Some^oth|er give | me thanks | for kind|nesses;
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Some of/fer me | commo|dities | to buy.
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Even^now | a tail|or called | me in | his shop,
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And showed | me silks | that he | had bought |
for me,
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And there|withal | took meas/ure of my | body.
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Sure* these | are but | imag|inar|y wiles,
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And Lap|land* sor|cerers | inhab|it here.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Master, here's the gold you sent me for: what have you got the picture of
old Adam new-apparelled?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Not that Adam that kept the Paradise: but that Adam that keeps the prison; he
that goes in the calf's skin, that was killed for the Prodigal: he that came
behind you sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
I understand thee not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
No? Why 'tis a plain case: he that went, like a bass-viol in a case of
leather; the man sir, that when gentlemen are tired gives them a sob, and
rests them: he sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of
durance: he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace, than a
morris-pike.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
What thou meanst an officer?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Aye sir, the sergeant of the band: he that brings any man to answer it that
breaks his band: one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God
give you good rest.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Well sir, there rest in your foolery:
Is there any ships puts forth tonight?
May we be gone?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Why sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put
forth tonight, and then were you hindered by the sergeant to tarry for the
Hoy Delay: Here are the angels that you sent for to deliver you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
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The fel|low is | distract,| and so | am I,
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And here | we wand|er in | illu|sions:
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Some^bles|sed power | deliv|er us | from hence.
COURTEZAN
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Well^met,| well^met,| Master | Antiph|olus:
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I see | sir you | have found | the
gold|smith^now:
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Is that | the chain | you prom|ised me | today.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
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Satan | avoid,| I charge | thee tempt | me not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
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Master,| is this mist|ress Sa|tan?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
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It | is the devil.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam:
And here she comes in the habit
of a light wench, and thereof comes, that the wenches say God damn me,
that's as much to say, God make me a light wench: It is written, they
appear to men like angels of light, light is an effect of fire, and fire
will burn: ergo, light wenches will burn, come not near her.
COURTEZAN
Your man and you are marvellous merry sir. Will you go with me, we'll mend
our dinner here?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Master, if do expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Why Dromio?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Marry he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
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Avoid | then fiend,| what tellst | thou me of |
supping?
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Thou art,| as you | are all | a sor|ceress:
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I con|jure thee | to leave | me, and | be gone.
COURTEZAN
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Give me the | ring of | mine you | had at |
dinner,
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Or for my | diamond | the chain | you prom|ised,
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And I'll | be gone | sir, and / not troub|le you.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail, a rush, a hair, a drop of
blood, a pin, a nut, a cherry-stone: but she more covetous, would have a
chain: Master be wise, and if you give it her, the devil will shake her
chain, and fright us with it.
COURTEZAN
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I pray | you sir | my ring,| or else | the chain,
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I hope | you do | not mean | to cheat | me so?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
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Avaunt | thou witch:| Come^Dro|mio let | us go.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
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Fly* pride | says the peacock,| mistress | that you know. ??
[Exeunt Antipholus of SYRACUSE and Dromio of SYRACUSE]
COURTEZAN
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Now out | of doubt | Antiph|olus | is mad,
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Else would | he nev|er so | demean | himself,
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A ring | he hath | of mine | worth^for|ty
du||cats,
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And | for the same | he prom|ised me | a chain,
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Both^one | and oth|er he | denies | me now:
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The reas|on that | I gath|er he | is mad,
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Besides | this pres|ent in|stance^of | his rage,
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Is a / mad tale | he told | today | at dinner,
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Of his own | doors being | shut a|gainst his |
entrance.
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Belike | his wife | acquaint|ed with | his fits,
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On pur|pose shut | the doors | against | his way:
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My way | is now | to hie | home to | his house,
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And tell | his wife,| that be|ing lun|atic,
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He rushed | into | my house,| and took | perforce
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My ring | away.| This course | I fit|test choose,
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For for|ty duc|ats is / too much | to lose.
[Exit]