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The Florentine camp.
[Enter the two French Lords and some two or three Soldiers]
FIRST LORD
You have not given him his mother's letter.
SECOND LORD
I have delivered it an hour since, there is something in it that stings his
nature: for on the reading it, he changed almost into another man.
FIRST LORD
He has much worthy blame laid upon him, for shaking off so good a wife, and
so sweet a lady.
SECOND LORD
Especially, he hath incurred the everlasting displeasure of the king, who
had even tuned his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you a thing,
but you shall let it dwell darkly with you.
FIRST LORD
When you have spoken it 'tis dead, and I am the grave of it.
SECOND LORD
He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in Florence, of a most chaste
renown, and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her honor: he
hath given her his monumental ring, and thinks himself made in the unchaste
composition.
FIRST LORD
Now God delay our rebellion as we are ourselves, what things are we.
SECOND LORD
Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course of all treasons, we
still see them reveal themselves, till they attain to their abhorred ends:
so he that in this action contrives against his own nobility, in his proper
stream, oreflows himself.
FIRST LORD
Is it not meant damnable in us, to be trumpeters of our unlawful intents? We
shall not then have his company tonight?
SECOND LORD
Not till after midnight: for he is dieted to his hour.
FIRST LORD
That approaches apace; I would gladly have him see his company anatomized,
that he might take a measure of his own judgments, wherein so curiously he
had set this counterfeit.
SECOND LORD
We will not meddle with him till he come; for his presence must be the whip
of the other.
FIRST LORD
In the meantime, what hear you of these wars?
SECOND LORD
I hear there is an overture of peace.
FIRST LORD
Nay, I assure you a peace concluded.
SECOND LORD
What will Count Rousillon do then? will he travel higher, or return again
into France?
FIRST LORD
I perceive by this demand, you are not altogether of his council.
SECOND LORD
Let it be forbid sir, so should I be a great deal of his act.
FIRST LORD
Sir, his wife some two months since fled from his house, her pretense is a
pilgrimage to Saint Jaques le Grand; which holy undertaking, with most
austere sanctimony she accomplished: and there residing, the tenderness of
her nature, became as a prey to her grief: in fine, made a groan of her last
breath, and now she sings in heaven.
SECOND LORD
How is this justified?
FIRST LORD
The stronger part of it by her own letters, which makes her story true, even
to the point of her death: her death itself, which could not be her office
to say, is come: was faithfully confirmed by the rector of the place.
SECOND LORD
Hath the count all this intelligence?
FIRST LORD
Aye, and the particular confirmations, point from point, so to the full
arming of the verity.
SECOND LORD
I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this.
FIRST LORD
How mightily sometimes, we make us comforts of our losses.
SECOND LORD
And how mightily some other times, we drown our gain in tears, the great
dignity that his valor hath here acquired for him, shall at home be
encountered with a shame as ample.
FIRST LORD
The web of our life, is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together: our
virtues would be proud, if our faults whipped them not, and our crimes would
despair, if they were not cherished by our virtues.
[Enter a Messenger]
How now? Where's your master?
SERVANT
He met the duke in the street sir, of whom he hath taken a solemn leave: his
lordship will next morning for France. The duke hath offered him letters of
commendations to the king.
SECOND LORD
They shall be no more than needful there, if they were more than they can
commend.
FIRST LORD
They cannot be too sweet for the king's tartness, here's his lordship now.
How now my lord, is it not after midnight?
BERTRAM
I have tonight dispatched sixteen businesses, a month's length apiece, by an
abstract of success: I have congied with the duke, done my adieu with his
nearest; buried a wife, mourned for her, writ to my lady mother, I am
returning, entertained my convoy, and between these main parcels of
dispatch, effected many nicer needs: the last was the greatest, but that I
have not ended yet.
SECOND LORD
If the business be of any difficulty, and this morning your departure hence,
it requires haste of your lordship.
BERTRAM
I mean the business is not ended, as fearing to hear of it hereafter: But
shall we have this dialogue between the fool and the soldier. Come, bring
forth this counterfeit module, he has deceived me, like a double-meaning
prophesier.
SECOND LORD
Bring him forth: has sat in the stocks all night poor gallant knave.
BERTRAM
No matter, his heels have deserved it, in usurping his spurs so long. How
does he carry himself?
SECOND LORD
I have told your lordship already: the stocks carry him. But to answer you
as you would be understood, he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk, he
hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to be a friar, from the
time of his remembrance to this very instant disaster of his setting in the
stocks: and what think you he hath confessed?
BERTRAM
Nothing of me, has he?
SECOND LORD
His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his face, if your lordship
be in it, as I believe you are, you must have the patience to hear it.
[Enter PAROLLES guarded, and First Soldier]
BERTRAM
A plague upon him, muffled; he can say nothing of me: hush, hush.
FIRST LORD
Hoodman comes: Portotartarosa
FIRST SOLDIER
He calls for the tortures, what will you say without 'em.
PAROLLES
I will confess what I know without constraint, if ye pinch me like a pasty,
I can say no more.
FIRST SOLDIER
Bosko chimurcho.
FIRST LORD
Boblibindo chicurmurco.
FIRST SOLDIER
You are a merciful general: Our general bids you answer to what I shall ask
you out of a note.
PAROLLES
And truly, as I hope to live.
FIRST SOLDIER
First demand of him, how many horse the duke is strong. What say you to
that?
PAROLLES
Five or six thousand, but very weak and unserviceable: the troops are all
scattered, and the commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation and
credit, and as I hope to live.
FIRST SOLDIER
Shall I set down your answer so?
PAROLLES
Do, I'll take the sacrament on it, how and which way you will: all's one to
him.
BERTRAM
What a past-saving slave is this?
FIRST LORD
You're deceived my lord, this is Monsieur Parolles the gallant militarist,
that was his own phrase that had the whole theoric of war in the knot of his
scarf, and the practise in the chape of his dagger.
SECOND LORD
I will never trust a man again, for keeping his sword clean, nor believe he
can have everything in him, by wearing his apparel neatly.
FIRST SOLDIER
Well, that's set down.
PAROLLES
Five or six thousand horse I said, I will say true, or thereabouts set down,
for I'll speak truth.
FIRST LORD
He's very near the truth in this.
BERTRAM
But I con him no thanks for it in the nature he delivers it.
PAROLLES
Poor rogues, I pray you say.
FIRST SOLDIER
Well, that's set down.
PAROLLES
I humbly thank you sir, a truth's a truth, the rogues are marvellous poor.
FIRST SOLDIER
Demand of him of what strength they are afoot. What say you to that?
PAROLLES
By my troth sir, if I were to live this present hour, I will tell true. Let
me see Spurio a hundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus so many,
Jaques so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred fifty
each: mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred fifty each:
so that the muster-file, rotten and sound, upon my life amounts not to
fifteen thousand poll, half of the which, dare not shake snow from off their
cassocks, lest they shake themselves to pieces.
BERTRAM
What shall be done to him?
FIRST LORD
Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my condition: and what
credit I have with the duke.
FIRST SOLDIER
Well that's set down: You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumain be
in the camp, a Frenchman: what his reputation is with the duke, what his
valor, honesty, and expertness in wars: or whether he thinks it were not
possible with well-weighing sums of gold to corrupt him to revolt. What say
you to this? what do you know of it?
PAROLLES
I beseech you let me answer to the particular of the interrogatories: demand
them singly.
FIRST SOLDIER
Do you know this Captain Dumain?
PAROLLES
I know him, he was a botcher's prentice in Paris, from whence he was whipped
for getting the shrieve's fool with child, a dumb innocent that could not
say him nay.
BERTRAM
Nay, by your leave, hold your hands, though I know his brains are forfeit to
the next tile that falls.
FIRST SOLDIER
Well, is this captain in the duke of Florence's camp?
PAROLLES
Upon my knowledge he is, and lousy.
FIRST LORD
Nay look not so upon me: we shall hear of your lordship anon.
FIRST SOLDIER
What is his reputation with the duke?
PAROLLES
The duke knows him for no other, but a poor officer of mine, and writ to me
this other day, to turn him out of the band. I think I have his letter in my
pocket.
FIRST SOLDIER
Marry we'll search.
PAROLLES
In good sadness I do not know, either it is there, or it is upon a file with
the duke's other letters, in my tent.
FIRST SOLDIER
Here 'tis, here's a paper, shall I read it to you?
PAROLLES
I do not know if it be it or no.
BERTRAM
Our interpreter does it well.
FIRST LORD
Excellently.
FIRST SOLDIER
Dian, the count's a fool, and full of gold.
PAROLLES
That is not the duke's letter sir: that is an advertisement to a proper maid
in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count
Rousillon, a foolish idle boy: but for all that very ruttish. I pray you sir
put it up again.
FIRST SOLDIER
Nay, I'll read it first by your favor.
PAROLLES
My meaning in it I protest was very honest in the behalf of the maid: for I
knew the young count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to
virginity, and devours up all the fry it finds.
BERTRAM
Damnable both-sides rogue.
FIRST SOLDIER
, , ,
, x
When he / swears oaths,| bid him / drop gold,|
and take it:
, ,
, ,
,
After | he scores,| he nev|er pays | the score:
, , ,
, , ,
, ,
Half won is match well made, match and well make
it, ????
, , ,
, ,
He nere | pays^aft|er-debts,| take it | before,
,
, ,
, ,
And say | a sold|ier (Di|an) told | thee this:
, ,
, ,
,
Men are | to mell | with, boys | are not | to
kiss.
,
, , ,
x
For count | of this,| the count's | a fool | I
know it,
,
, ,
, x
Who pays | before,| but not | when he | does owe
it.
, 2
, , 2
,
Thine as he | vowed to | thee in thine^|ear,
,
Pa|rolles.
BERTRAM
He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme in his forehead.
SECOND LORD
This is your devoted friend sir, the manifold linguist, and the army-potent
soldier.
BERTRAM
I could endure anything before but a cat, and now he's a cat to me.
FIRST SOLDIER
I perceive sir by the general's looks, we shall be fain to hang you.
PAROLLES
My life sir in any case: not that I am afraid to die, but that my offenses
being many, I would repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live sir in a
dungeon, in the stocks, or anywhere, so I may live.
FIRST SOLDIER
We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely: therefore once more to
this Captain Dumain: you have answered to his reputation with the duke, and
to his valor. What is his honesty?
PAROLLES
He will steal sir an egg out of a cloister: for rapes and ravishments he
parallels Nessus. He professes not keeping of oaths, in breaking 'em he is
stronger than Hercules. He will lie sir, with such volubility, that you
would think truth were a fool: drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will
be swine-drunk; and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his
bed-clothes about him: but they know his conditions, and lay him in straw. I
have but little more to say sir of his honesty, he has everything that an
honest man should not have; what an honest man should have, he has nothing.
FIRST LORD
I begin to love him for this.
BERTRAM
For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon him for me, he's more and
more a cat.
FIRST SOLDIER
What say you to his expertness in war?
PAROLLES
Faith sir, he has led the drum before the English tragedians: to belie him I
will not, and more of his soldiership I know not, except in that country, he
had the honor to be the officer at a place there called Mile-end, to
instruct for the doubling of files. I would do the man what honor I can, but
of this I am not certain.
FIRST LORD
He hath out-villained villany so far, that the rarity redeems him.
BERTRAM
A pox on him, he's a cat still.
FIRST SOLDIER
His qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask you, if gold will
corrupt him to revolt.
PAROLLES
Sir, for a quart d'ecu he will sell the fee-simple of his salvation, the
inheritance of it, and cut the entail from all remainders, and a perpetual
succession for it perpetually.
FIRST SOLDIER
What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain?
SECOND LORD
Why does be ask him of me?
FIRST SOLDIER
What's he?
PAROLLES
Eene a crow of the same nest: not altogether so great as the first in
goodness, but greater a great deal in evil. He excels his brother for a
coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is. In a retreat he
outruns any lackey; marry in coming on, he has the cramp.
FIRST SOLDIER
If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the Florentine.
PAROLLES
Aye, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon.
FIRST SOLDIER
I'll whisper with the general, and know his pleasure.
PAROLLES
I'll no more drumming, a plague of all drums, only to seem to deserve well,
and to beguile the supposition of that lascivious young boy the count, have
I run into this danger: Yet who would have suspected an ambush where I was
taken?
FIRST SOLDIER
There is no remedy sir, but you must die: the general says, you that have so
traitorously discovered the secrets of your army, and made such pestiferous
reports of men very nobly held, can serve the world for no honest use:
therefore you must die. Come headsman, off with his head.
PAROLLES
O Lord sir let me live, or let me see my death.
FIRST LORD
That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends:
So, look about you, know you any here?
BERTRAM
Good morrow noble captain.
SECOND LORD
God bless you Captain Parolles.
FIRST LORD
God save you noble captain.
SECOND LORD
Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafeu? I am for France.
FIRST LORD
Good captain will you give me a copy of the sonnet you writ to Diana in
behalf of the Count Rousillon, and I were not a very coward, I'd compel it
of you, but fare you well.
[Exeunt BERTRAM and Lords]
FIRST SOLDIER
You are undone captain all but your scarf, that has a knot on it yet.
PAROLLES
Who cannot be crushed with a plot?
FIRST SOLDIER
If you could find out a country where but women were that had received so
much shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare ye well sir, I am for
France too, we shall speak of you there.
[Exit with Soldiers]
PAROLLES
, ,
, , ,
Yet^am | I thank|ful: if | my heart | were great
,
, ,
, ,
'Twould burst | at this:| Captain | I'll be | no*
more,
,
, ,
, ,
But I | will eat,| and drink,| and sleep | as
soft
,
, ,
, ,
As cap|tain shall.| Simply | the thing | I am
, ,
, x ,
Shall make | me live:| who knows | himself a |
braggart
T . T
T ,
, ,
Let him fear this;| for it | will come | to pass,
,
, ,
, ,
that eve|ry brag|gart shall | be found | an ass.
T T
T , 2 ,
,
Rust sword, cool | blushes,| and Parol|les live
,
, 2 ,
, 2 ,
Safest | in shame:| being fooled,| by fool|ery
thrive;
,
, ,
, ,
There's place | and means | for eve|ry man |
alive.
,
,
I'll aft|er them. \\
[Exit]